December 31, 2008

Goodbye 2008 and Hello 2009

Well....hell - it was a year wasn't it? Looking back at this blog over the year I've gone from the lowest of lows to some highs and back to a slight set-back. I think 2008 was all about teaching me acceptance of loss and the ability to pull myself back up by the bootstraps.

My friend Mel last night (she is one of my biggest cheerleaders and, one of the most honest, true people I know) told me that she is excited that I have the chance to "reinvent" myself. How like her to find the flipside of my pity party last night when I was bemoaning moving and feeling quite lost. And I told her last night that today I would see the world differently but last night, I was indulging myself a bit.

I was feeling whelmed in all the things I need to accomplish in a month -- to wit: moving, finding a job, divesting myself of a lot of liabilities, and well - getting back on my feet. *whew* That's a big ol' elephant in the room, but as you get to know me, you will know that one of my favorite sayings is "you eat the elephant one bite at a time." So, that's how I began my day - eating the elephant one bite at a time. I'm not tackling the entire place at one time. I'm doing a bit here and there every day. Until wow - I've already noticed some progress. I'm sending out at least one resume a day. And...it gets easier.

And grief - well, that gets easier too. There is not a day that goes by that I don't miss them...but, as my sister said - some healing must be taking place when we laugh at little personality quirks my mom or dad passed along to us.

Yesterday I saw a bumper sticker that said "prisoner of hope". I thought about that a lot all through yesterday. Are we truly prisoners of hope? Slaves to waiting? Or, do we help hope along by helping ourselves? I don't want to be a prisoner of anything. Hope is that little whisper that picks me up from the deepest of my fears. That little spark in the darkness. Sometimes that depth seems darker and deeper than we can ever climb. Sometimes we dwell in that place but we have to continue to search for that ladder. We have to - to give up is to die.

And I'm not quite ready for that.

So...here is my hope for 2009. I hope, dream, wish and will fight for it to be the best year that I've had so far. I may or may not succeed....but, I will keep on swinging for the fences.

18 comments:

  1. My hopes and wishes are with you. That elephant will keep getting smaller and smaller and one day it will be gone!

    Happy happy new year. Keep sharing your thoughts and beautiful photographs with us.

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  2. In swinging for the fences, you can always take pride in your efforts. And if you hit a home run, celebrate! If you think you'll strike out, however, do it with style and/or humor! ;-)

    ...Celine

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  3. As my late depression-era grandfather used to say "Can't never did nothin'"... I am a strong believer in the law of attraction, postive thoughts generate positive outcomes.

    In the very short time that you've allowed me to tred across your page, I've learned what a uniquely strong, beautiful individual you are.. it's shown not only in your photographs but the words you write for yourself and others. Your kind words are a true testament to the embodiment that is Char.
    I believe and hope that your 2009 year is filled with joy, hope, and all those delicious adjectives!

    Have a good one!

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  4. Happy New Year to you, Char!

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  5. happy new year all!! thanks for reading my little corner of the world.

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  6. oh dear char...I have a good feeling about your upcoming year...if I were going to be a prisoner, I can't think of a better type to be than one of "hope." You need to "follow your bliss." Really sounds overly simplified, but has worked for me everytime. Your words and your photos are dripping with talent, go with it girlie...muwah! t

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  7. traci - you have inspired me so much. I look at your photography and think that's what I want to do!

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  8. It sounds like you have a 'Prison Break' plan...I'm glad you don't believe in too many of those random bumper stickers. LOL
    (I just saw the first 2 episodes of the 3rd season of the 'PRISON BREAK' TV show).

    I like the word 'REINVENT'...we should all plan to do a bit of reinventing ourselves in 2009. Lovely words from a lovely photographer! ;)
    Hugs,
    M

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  9. Love yo you, Allie. This will be a GREAT one for us,
    xxoxo

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  10. You go girl! :) Happy New Year!!!

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  11. Michael - I like reinvent too. The plan is in place and being enacted.

    Lori - thanks, it's gonna be great.

    DC - :) Happy New Year!

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  12. i love that some of your posts don't have a photo attached and, quite frankly, don't need one—because your writing is so good and is itself a picture.

    you are very gifted in your writing—as much as your photography. and it seems to really be a great outlet and source of expression and healing for you.

    here's to hope. i HOPE great things will soon be happening for you, Char—or rather, that you will soon be making great things happen. you already are.

    and, just so you know, your having no work allows you the time to be visiting so many blogs and encouraging those bloggers. i think every single post i do, you are the first to comment and always so thoughtfully. you are a faithful reader to so many, and so your temporary situation is actually a blessing to so many.

    thank you for always visiting and giving of yourself.

    -G.

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  13. This is quite a powerful post... and I know what you mean. I feel like I often try to overcompensate with the happy in hard times in order to search for any hope that lies waiting to be found..

    A powerful message. <3 May 2009 bring you happiness, good health, and ultimately - hope.

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  14. Happy 09 to you Char! I'm sure you will find many ladders leading to some wonderful places!!! I see a bright 2009 for you, my friend!

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  15. Georgia - thank you, and I thank the day I found your blog. You are a great inspiration.

    Natalie - I wish wonderful things for you too in 2009. It's going to be a good year, I refuse to believe anything less.

    Joy - Another of my inspirations is your attitude towards living your dreams and your gratitude towards life. It's going to be a good year.

    FiFi - Happy New Year Ms. Wonderful. Hope its the best ever.

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  16. How funny that our photohunt for the day is hope... Where would we be without it?
    Here's to the new year and new hopes!

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  17. I think, just by judging your outlook and inspirations, that this year will be quite the year for you in so many positive ways. I think it's a good opportunity for you to grow and explore where you want your life to go. I'm sorry 2008 was filled with so many lows, but I'm encouraged and confident you'll find a lot of highs in 2009...

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i feel as if each comment was between us as we sat and sipped something warm....i love to hear what you're thinking.