February 4, 2009

tightrope walkers

tightrope walkers

I woke up with an outrageous headache this morning - mostly my own fault after consuming bacon before bedtime combined with a distinct lack of water yesterday. Much like drinking, I guess I had a bacon hangover.

My joints creak more frequently and I've found I would rather enjoy a few drinks with good friends than any loud night club. I've developed a taste for singers that have populated the "folk" catalog on iTunes. The hands, definitely showing signs of wear and tear. My hair shows more gray at the temples than I'm comfortable with and roots are visible before the recommended six weeks is up.

Now I understand the things my mom and dad told me and think they're right. I'm officially teetering on the edge of middle age and the dreams of youth. There is a tightrope we walk when we don't want admit the body doesn't want to live up with the demands of our dreams. I always think of myself as 31 one - old enough to know better but young enough for ... adventure. Not that I can't be adventurous in my 40s, 50s or beyond. But with a sense of wisdom beaten into me the hard way over the decades. (until the mirror tells me differently - I'm considering breaking that damn thing)

I clearly remember hating to do my homework and the many schemes I would plot and plan to avoid doing it until the last possible minute. Now I see my ten-year-old nephew doing the same thing and think, "if he just put that much energy into getting it over with, it would be done." I suffer the pains of my fourteen-year-old nephew shyness and not thinking he's as handsome as he should be. I want to help him build that confidence that is so attractive. All the lessons we all learn the hardest way possible.

I can't solve the problems of their world and can only take solstice in the fact that one day in the distant future...they will think, "Aunt Lanie was right." We who love are there with the bandaids and the lollipops. Trying to wait at the sidelines until the moment is right - acting all casual so the kids can learn. But, it's so damn hard sometimes.

In the meantime...my oldish bones will have ice cream.

21 comments:

  1. My dad reaches 3 score years and 10 in the summer and he maintains that he's 39 plus tax!

    Did you read Buddha Mama today?

    At each birthday just remember that you ARE bigger and more beautiful than before ;)

    That's a lesson that it will take our children many years to learn, but they'll learn it well along with all the others they ignore today.

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  2. bacon and headaches...WHAT ?
    I just wrote about the migraine I had that caused me to puke 18 times...and what did I have for dinner the night before my morning migraine ??....BACON !!!

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  3. Haha I've never heard of a bacon hangover, but it does make sense! Shall steer clear of that one.

    A lovely post today, read every word and I understand what you mean... with every year you gain more perspective - - it's this perspective which makes you look back and say, what was I wearing!? :-)

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  4. LOL I laughed out loud at "what were you wearing" - I say that sooo much. Particularly the year of the Izod sweater and perm.

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  5. ok, i don't even know where to start!!!

    i suffer from headaches. constantly. i will post on this later, including the remedies that work best for me. anywhoooooooooo, bacon and nitrates are sure-fire ways to get headaches. it is hard to resist bacon sometimes, but downing a 1/2 gallon of water will help.

    i hear ya on aging. it sure is a funny process that we go through and how we have to learn that our parents were right about many things, and watch the young ones go through the same struggles we went through.

    i am sorry for writing so much. but i enjoyed your post and hope you are feeling better!

    p.s. after a certain point, bars and clubs are for the birds. yay! it is nice to give up some things.

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  6. You know, I do have some experience with hangovers, but none in the last 20 years. But eating bacon in bed (did you leave out that last detail?) is a frightening prospect. As I told someone else today, admitting you have a problem is the first step in recovery. =)

    I'm always here to help.

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  7. I think I am doing things backwards. I do more and enjoy myself more the older I get. I was positively a fuddy duddy in my twenties, but a bad/boring marriage probably had a lot to do with that.

    Keep in mind that it's cold and wintery and the days are not yet long. I'm sure you'll find that your energy returns, and your excitment for new things, as the days get longer and warmer.

    ps. I think you're blaming the bacon unfairly. You couldn't have eaten *that* much! Could you? Hope you are feeling better, tho.

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  8. ps. I forgot to tell you how much I like those little springy things on the vine in the photo. I must have gotten all wrapped up in the bacon comment.

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  9. This was great Char. I still contend it's all an illusion and you are as old as you act. This makes me 8. Except I'm an 8 year old that can drive and watch porn. SCORE!!!

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  10. Well written. Aging terrifies me in many ways. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that my body isn't doing what it should be lately (the last few years) and I think I'm too young to be feeling so rotten all the time.

    I also wish I could go back in time and help people gain confidence. But especially myself. It's a part of me that is forever in progress.

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  11. I laughed at tango's comment knowing that she has a certain penchant for *ahem* baconnaise... yuk! And of course thought of her at the beginning of your post.

    Passing years haunt my nightmares, I think it just looms there waiting for me to stop and think about how short our time here is... *shiver* Dammit if this post didn't get me thinkin'.... I need to save more, need to do more, need to love more, and most important pick up my camera more and capture happy-go-lucky pictures like the one you have here. Thanks for the sunspot to end this loaded day!

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  12. Hi Char...thanks for your kind words, it's much appreciated. Have some rocky road or cherries jubilee for me :) Hugs

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  13. I was thinking that it was probably the nitrates in the bacon. Combined with the lack of water, it's understandable why you'd wake up like that.

    I thought twice about posting terrible after pics on my blog tonight but then thought I didn't really care. It's difficult having the right touch. And yes, I was fooling around with the opacity and different blending modes, sometimes going into curves and doing adjustments on there.

    Thanks for your kind words.

    Hope no headaches tomorrow!

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  14. Sounds like a Ben & Jerry's moment to me.

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  16. Feel better, Sweets.

    I'm thinking about you,'xxoxo

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  17. keep your balance YOUNG tight rope walker...

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  18. Where does time go?

    Really like this shot, it doesn't bear your usual processing, different - I like it.

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  19. Wise 'old' (yeah, right!) aunts have a special place in guiding and supporting the youthful ones- knowing what to say and more importantly, when not to say something... I particularly enjoy telling my nephews and nieces that the songs they listen to were originally written when i was their age... they inevitably don't believe me...:)

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  20. I think the same things about my nephew sometimes. I hope as he gets older he'll come to me for advice - especially when he's sick of mom.

    That lil curly cue is so darn cute! Great find!

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i feel as if each comment was between us as we sat and sipped something warm....i love to hear what you're thinking.