inbetween the break in rain on sunday, i stopped by the old train museum in calera. before i had gone with classes - it was overcast and slightly eerie wandering around the derelicts - the burned out hulks and rusty, steel cars. weeks choked the pathways between and even the flag looked forlorn, drooping under the weight of the morning rain.
when you revisit a subject, you look for different ways to approach it. the first time, i was timid and walked around unsure what to do - students scrambled around the yard and we grouped together in small clumps. i couldn't see it because i didn't know what to see.
the second time i went i felt jaded in that superior 'been there, done that' kind of way. i looked at 'newbies' with a sort of amusement (yeah, i took that shot too - nothing new here). i didn't allow myself to really 'see' it because i shut myself off from seeing it.
this time....this time i was alone and i was afraid. and i thought to myself, this is silly. what could i possibly see that i haven't seen before. i sat there in the jeep and argued with myself. (get home, it's going to rain again. you've seen this, nothing new to see. you're by yourself, this is not a good area. finally, just get out the car - you need an abandoned shot - get it over with)
slowly i walked around, camera in hand with just the small lens on. no tripods today - it was a quick in and out. i thought about a book i bought the day before and some abstract polaroids that were grouped together in a collage. and i looked again. patterns began to blossom before me - waterfalls, stripes, colors, lines - bits and pieces of a whole.