i had one question in all of that - one about my love life and ken asked if that was taboo. heck no, the only things i never really talk about are religion and politics .... mostly because too many people get pretty upset on those issues and rather than insult anyone, i just steer clear. as i've said before - i try to treat people according to the golden rule - do unto others as i would have them do unto me.
so...my love life. or lack thereof. yeah. that's the main reason i don't write about it. first of all, face it - in these days and times, women in their 40's have a tough time meeting guys...much less guys that have an appreciation for say...women in their 40's. *laugh* i kid you not - the few times i ventured (lately) into a typical venue to meet guys - guys my age are dating women in their 20's. my brother for example. *drum rimshot* not that he chose her - it was a fix up. *sigh, then laugh*
here are the basics about my love life: married young - married for a good number of years - divorced when i found out (by his own admission) that he was cheating on me. dated - fell in love once or twice - fell out of love - dated some more - played the cougar once which lasted until i figured out his mom was only three years older than me - did the e-harmony thing - got engaged - found out e-harmony does not screen out the trait of ... what's the male version of gold digger - broke up and have become a cynic about love.
that's the quick view. i can be glib as i've processed all of this....as my old myspace friends can testify - boy have i processed this and written about it. *laugh* i guess that is why i don't talk about it.
this is my version of love: if you have it, hold on and cherish it all that you can. long lasting love is a rare, delicate flower that must be constantly fed and nourished. sometimes we starve it or forget to water it and, in the rare cases - it can make a comeback....but it's been my experience it either dies or gets killed. i'm in constant awe of people ... like beth, who seem more in love with their partners than even the day they met.
so, i would classify myself as a hopeless romantic. no....no....no, that that kind of romantic - hopeless - without hope. i'm hopeless when it comes to romance. if it jumps up and slaps me in the face, maybe i will believe again...as for now...well, there is always photography.
Oh I'm a hopless romantic too and there after truly believe there is a great love for everyone- perhaps you must kiss a few frogs along the way and some people are so unlucky as to never meet their soul mate- but everyone has one..I truly believe that. I think though the world has become such that true love is harder to find then before and loyalty is a rare commodity...it's too easy for people to be disloyal and to move on- staying with something isn't what it use to be.
ReplyDeleteBut hold the faith Char- your soul mate is out there-and I hope you meet him someday...until then we'll be happy to share evenings with you- and days....:-))
And I love love love that you also live by the golden rule- it's my numero uno way to live!!!
Hugs from Norway
You can move closer to me and Andrew and grow old with us! It'd be a little awkward to share a bed, BUT I promise to take pictures with you and write with you. And we can go sledding!
ReplyDeletehopeful is the best way to be!
ReplyDeleteI just love your honesty. Thanks for sharing all your thoughts and your beautiful words.
ReplyDeleteI have realized that the only dream I possess anymore is to have that flower. My greatest fear? To watch as I or another lets it die.
ReplyDeleteOh Beth...I know, how awesome. Anyway, a hopeful romantic...love that. Your Mr. Right will come when you stop looking for him ;)
ReplyDeleteChar, wow, you know without the mr. wrongs we would not find mr. right when he comes along. After I divorced I was sure I would never find love again....one day there it was again. I am glad you shared your story with us. hugs to you.
ReplyDeletesuch beauty in this dogwood here ..
ReplyDeletebold. honest.giving.delicate yet strong ..
like you char ..
oh girlfriend...
ReplyDeletei guess i have to go with the saying "that's it's better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all" even if it is overused and abused.
your head is on oh so very straight, that's for sure....and one of these days, there's going to be a man who has only dated crooked headed women and he's gong to notice something different about you right away and the rest will be....shall we say history :)
thanks for using me as an example....as i am blessed in so many ways....but now i have a question ?......do/can people have more than one soul mate in their lifetime ? married to them or not ?
Is it bad then that I am a cynic about love at only 24? Because I am. Big time. It only took one man cheating on me to make me trust no man except my dad. It's maybe something significant that we can acknowledge it instead of being blissfully ignorant of the fact, right? Anyway, I think you'll have luck in love again. You have far too much to offer to not!
ReplyDeleteI've been single for six years. Dated twice, Men don't want to come near you when your bordering 40 with 2 kids!!!
ReplyDeleteThe men that seem decent go for the younger women no kids and so I am left questioning any man that would want to date me because apparently I have baggage even though I am less emotionally F$%&ed than most.
I understand why you tread carefully but hope some romance comes your way soon.
Photography & children leave me no time for dating or romance.
I have found that I've become quite cynical about the whole falling in love thing in my fifties. I no longer have stars in my eyes. I don't really believe there is out there somewhere your perfect mate. If so, wouldn't you be drawn together like magnets across the globe?
ReplyDeleteBrenda
Being in my 40s is much better than being in my 30s (not to mention..the 20s? no thanks), so as this seems to be a pattern, I look forward to the next decades. May we all be happy and healthy, with or without love from the outside. There is an abundance of it within anyway
ReplyDelete"here are the basics about my love life: married young - married for a good number of years - divorced...... found out e-harmony does not screen out the trait of ... what's the male version of gold digger - broke up and have become a cynic about love." Have to smile at your words above,... same here only I also did match.com and i'm even older. So now i'm really happy in my life,.. my work, my family, my community,... yes, life is good. I wish for you contentment and love when you least expect it.
ReplyDeleteI was hopeless about relationships and a cynic until I met my husband. I still am to a degree, it stuck with me in some ways.
ReplyDeleteLove comes calling sometimes when you least expect it and aren't looking for it. You're still young...don't be hopeless. XOXO
ReplyDeletei enjoyed your post, sadly though i am out of witty thoughts. you appear to love and enjoy yourself, and have others who love and enjoy your company -- the rest is up to the powers to be.
ReplyDeletewarm smiles,
when you least expect it, my dear friend. when you least expect it. and he needs to love all of us, when he does come along. wink!
ReplyDeletexo
I think there is a cynic in us all - and when we are overwhelmed... it is like the man living at the garbage dump with his family of ten who receives an enormous gift - a flood of gratitude washes over us like a river bursts it's banks - it rampages and rinses over everything that is near it, staining all forever...
ReplyDeleteHello! Just happened upon your blog through another one. Good writing, so I'm a follower now. Nice to meet you.
ReplyDeleteI was married 25 years when the cheating bomb dropped on me. So, I've steered clear of men in general for the past 12 years. No men out there for older gals...except old coots. Ha!
oh char! i have no words for how this post touched me. so raw, so true, so brave. wow! i am dipping my toes back in the sea of love these days and i am terrified of getting hurt again but it's all one big adventure, isn't it? and any man would be LUCKY to have you. xo.
ReplyDeleteSo glad to have an insight into the secret life of Char. You've had me wondering girl! Thanks for opening up and sharing this here. sounds like a tough road you have travelled at times. even if you're not, I'm going to be hopeful for you. cracked up at the cougar bit..sorry..but yeah ;)
ReplyDeletebeautiful pic btw
I had to laugh at the 'secret life' - I guess I never though you all would be that interested.
ReplyDeleteIt is one big adventure.
There is always hope and often romance comes when you least want it to. Thanks for sharing your 40 something thoughts, ha.
ReplyDeleteI so love your honesty and bravery here. I didn't find my love until I was 30...I had almost given up and then was fixed up on a blind date. But truly, I had decided I was better off happy by myself than in an unhappy relationship with the wrong person.
ReplyDeleteI believe your time will come...
Hugs to you.
Well Char...about love and trusting and all the rest of it...I've soooo been there! I was on my own (with three teenagers, and no one wants to take on three teenagers!) for 12 years. I didn't meet my husband until I was over 50 and I had just made peace with the idea of being on my own for the rest of my life. One day, he literally just walked in the door and there was no struggle, no angst, no tears to it. I will admit that I figuratively had my suitcase packed and ready to go for at least two years...just in case (if anyone was going to be leaving this time, it was going to be me!) I eventually realized that this one wasn't like the others, unpacked my bags and let myself relax into the sweetness of it all.
ReplyDeleteI know someone will be there for you too one day when you're not even thinking about it...he'll just be there!
Sorry...I didn't mean to write a novel!
Oh me. All I have to say is, just when you thought all was lost...you will be found. And love you will find you!
ReplyDeletekate -- (hugs) what an inspiration
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. I know you'll meet someone wonderful if you stay open to it.
ReplyDeletexo Mary Jo
Ah, yes. There is always photography. But it won't rub your tootsies when they ache!
ReplyDelete