March 25, 2010

thoughts

my mom always said "if wishes were horses beggars" would ride.  well, she also said something a lot more colorful and crude when i would really whine, but basically her outlook on life was wishing a day away would never solve anything.  and to have anything in life, you had to pull your boots on and get out in the muck to make it happen.

as i was talking to one uncle today, he was relaying a story of how independently we (my brothers, sister and i) were raised.  that we've been a cohesive family unit without much call for others for so long that we don't often think of calling on other people.  i've said that often but it was odd hearing it from someone else.

he also told me that he told the uncle that if i (or any of us) call, then the call should be taken seriously - because we don't call unless we need help.  i think my heart swelled with a kind of pride in some ways.  but, at the same time....should i have been worried?

the main issue is that life just goes by so fast and by the time i think to call...it's been weeks...and then months...and then, i get embarrassed.  i do say, "i'm going to try and be better about...." and then suddenly it's two months later.  i need to just remember to pick up the phone and not put it off. 

so i did...and they were not at home.  *laughs*  but there is always that next time.

21 comments:

  1. I love the quote of your moms! I would ride!

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  2. I have the same problem.
    Every year, I write down
    "Stay in touch better" on
    my New Year's resolutions
    list. Yet every year, it
    seems as though there are
    even more things keeping
    me away from doing just
    that. I just thank God for
    Facebook. ;0)

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  3. I don't call those I should often enough either.

    This picture of your niece is adorable!

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  4. Sometimes it's an effort to reach out and make those calls, but it's always worth it. Those family and life connections keep us together.

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  5. wishes ...don't let them go ..every day begin again..that is a wonderful b/w niece...

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  6. I love and so relate to what you wrote. It is all speeding by now, like I just can't catch enough time ever! You will be better about calling, I just know it :)

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  7. Always the way the, I'm known for not calling people either but not because I don't want to. It's a time thing and when I finally get a chance it's generally late at night and I'm tired and don't feel like talking.

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  8. so sorry, but this made me laugh. particularly the last two sentences!!! :)

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  9. don't be sorry - i laughed too.

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  10. my mom also said that "if wishes were horses," but i never heard the last bit about beggars. it was always said rather wistfully, as if she really hoped a horse would appear, but didn't really believe it would without her hitching up the trailer...

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  11. it's so true...especially with email....we just don't call anymore.
    but isn't it nice to hear a voice when you finally do pick up the phone....and then you really kick yourself for how long it's been.....

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  12. I have always found it difficult to reach out and ask for help but think that's likely a normal reaction. We usually withdraw and shrink inward when the going gets tough. I've also realized (from watching my dad at age 94)that as we get older and need the contact and support of others, it's important to make the effort and keep the connections alive...yet still I have this reaction to pull in and be a hermit!

    Such a sweet photograph!

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  13. This saying is way over used but it's the thought that counts yes?

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  14. Oh, Char, I needed this reminder. I often put off calling people I love, or I think about it at 11 pm, and then think, "I'll call tomorrow." It's a bad habit of mine. Those connections take work--work I need to do more of!

    Have a wonderful weekend! xo Gigi

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  15. i love your moms saying. : )
    xoxo

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  16. That's the perfect little photograph to go along with your wishes quote!

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  17. Could relate so much to this, it's not just calling when you need help, I don't take contact as much as I should with people I care about. I had a friend who drank a lot at a party and began yelling at me and telling me how I never come to visit and am always to busy for her..she got a bit out of hand, and I forgave her for her outburst because she has been drinking, but she had some true points, I'm not as good as I should be and it's shameful...but I lead such a busy life, when I finally get some me time I just want to shut down and not communicate with anyone...so it's never personal but I can understand how it could be taken personal. I think perhaps this is an effect of our world becoming more and more electronic. My dad talks about sitting out on the porch at nights and talking with neighbours, now everyone is inside watching Desperate Housewives or Lost..or on the computer blogging- we don't have time to be social anymore...it's sad really....

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  18. LOL...and frogs wouldn't bump their a**** every time they jump, either! My mom always said "don't wish your life away", especially if I said something like "I wish Friday would hurry up and get here". Don't wish your life away...it has a lot more meaning when you're 56, than when you were 16.

    I'm bad about the not contacting family myself. I need to get over that embarassed feeling and just do it. Great post, Char.

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  19. i love the photo you chose to accompany your thoughts. we just need to blow our thoughts, wishes, and yes--unanswered phone calls out into the world. i'm very guilty of the same thing you wrote about. the ones i love are always close to me in my heart and mind, i just don't always take the time to pick up the phone and say, "hey! how are you?"

    smiles,

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  20. Hope you left a message!
    HUGS...we're all the same...Life travels too fast.
    We need independance to stand strong and get on with the daily grind.
    Char.x.

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  21. I do that, too. Not so much with phone calls and family. I do that with emails. I sometimes get the most wonderful emails from friends and I don't write back because I am waiting till I have "real" time to spend on it. I never have real time, though. I just have a big pile of emails I never responded to.

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i feel as if each comment was between us as we sat and sipped something warm....i love to hear what you're thinking.