bits and pieces again

it was a busy weekend. you know one of those were you have time but don't really have time? in it i had dinner with family, went to the land of oz and timetraveled back to the sixties . . . friday night i realized that young palates do not really get the subtle differences between ground beef and italian sausage - just that it tastes 'weird'. and that dark caramel is not really burned (they ate it though).

saturday i realized that love can be expressed in many, many ways - in this case my friend lisa had this beautiful, wonderful over the top birthday party for her granddaughter were we were all transported over the rainbow to munchkin land. and the children adored it. then we spent the afternoon recovering on the front porch. i love just sitting around with friends on the porch . . . i got caught up with them and found how much i missed a lot of people.

sunday my sister and friend, charolette, went to see beehive. a very fun show - i remember my mom listening to so many of these songs. though the crowd was mostly gray - it was so cute when the crowd was pulled into participating.

now for the winner of the giveaway at french cupboard! from my count, fifteen people registered for the giveaway by leaving comments for their favorite shot in my etsy shop. the winners are: Mishka (Oh, Mishka) and Susan (bear swamp reflections). i'm sending e-mails, but if you ladies happen to see this - will you confirm your choices and size of the print?

i spent a lot of the weekend thinking of a lot of things - things that haven't quite jelled yet, things that have solitified when i haven't wanted that and well, lots and lots of things. have you ever just held stuff close to your heart? it is not that i don't want to share them, i just can't find words to express them. some times the things are just so small and trivial, i think to myself, who gives a rat's behind about it all . . . and things some times so big and scary that i can't breathe. that i wake up in the small wee hours and i can't breathe. the overshare.

everything lately feels forced and difficult - as if i'm walking through three foot pools of jello. disconnected and just weird . . . so weird. i know the cure but then i have panic attacks about that too - will i remember how to work when i get work again? just silly, i know it's silly. my rational, logical, analytical side knows how very silly i am. as we say in my family, coo-coo-cacao puffs. i am sick of thinking about it but i can't stop thinking about it. and yes, i give myself breaks, i think positive...ack. stop. stop. stop.