October 1, 2009

for then, for now, forever

almost five years ago, my life changed for ever. what i didn't know at the time, her life changed three years before and she didn't tell anyone because she hoped it would go away. she hoped it wasn't bad (but she was scared in the middle of the night). she didn't have insurance coverage when it first happened - she got it later on, after it had spread. three years she waited, until the problem was much to big to ignore. (and she never said a word)

the first year we were thankful and held her hand through it all. we prayed the surgery had 'gotten it all'. but, waiting the three years allowed those insidious cells to travel other places - silently working their evil magic, shaping pockets of wicked, wicked, wicked horror to be discovered later. it seemed we would fight one demon with three heads before the demon was victorious and we were bereft.

that demon was breast cancer. one of the most curable cancers there is, if it's detected early. it's been said, many, many, many times. funds are raised every year for research to find a cure. never think you are bullet proof. breast cancer strikes people from all walks of life, all colors, all races, all socio-economical status. odds are you know someone effected by breast cancer or you, yourself have been affected.

if you are in the risk group - have your mammograms, do the self exams - make sure your breasts are healthy. even if you're not in the group - do the self exams and have your baseline mammogram when your doctor recommends it. such a small thing for those you love. do you love them enough to give them this gift?

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part of christina's pink october challenge

31 comments:

  1. char, i will carry the strength of this post and "her" sweet memory with me, on october 6th, as i have my first mammogram.
    thank you for sharing.
    xoxo

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  2. Thank you for sharing this Char. Beautiful words.

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  3. What a touching, sad story. It must have been such a difficult journey, beyond words. Thank you for sharing with us, and reminding us to take care.

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  4. Char, oh my i don't know what to say. I am in that risk group although my mother is a survivor. thank you for the reminder of how precious life is.

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  5. What a powerful message. I'm sorry for your loss. I am one of those bad people who don't have their mammograms when they should. I've taken your message to heart...now to make an appointment.

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  6. an amazing message given so perfectly to many...thank you char !

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  7. Thank you...such a beautiful and bittersweet message. And one we cannot ignore!

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  8. char..so sorry that your family suffered through this and I thank you for tenderly sharing it with us here..

    the teacup shines in her memory ~ elk

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  9. Truly a message that needs to be said and shared...

    Thanks!

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  10. What a great reminder, and a great post. Thanks, Char.

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  11. So true. Thank you for your message.

    ann

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  12. hey. i'm thinking about you today.

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  13. oh my. great story. i need to get mine this month.

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  14. my mom had breast cancer. i hope they find a cure soon and better treatment, too. until then, i lose my mind every year when i get a mammogram. in fact, i am supposed to go this month and i will be a basket case before, during and after, and can only hope the results will be ok.

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  15. Char...I write with a tear in my eye for your pain and loss...I can only imagine the day you have had today.
    Thank you for your voice, which is always so powerful and tender at the same time.
    Your Mom would have been proud of you...look how many of us adore to visit you everyday...to see your beautiful images, to hear your poetry.
    Hugs.
    Char.

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  16. Thank you for sharing this with us Char. If I was there with you now, I'd give you a hug.

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  17. Oh Char,
    so brave of you to share with us. I am so sorry for you the loss is so real and not easy to move on from. Your story is beautifully told and reminds all of us that we need to be always monitoring our health. Thanks for the reminder. And bless you at this time.

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  18. Oh Char.
    Thank you for sharing this.
    I am so sorry for your loss.

    You come to my measley blog and leave comments and your caring and kind ways just shine. I know you, yet we have never met. Even today (and reading the comments) when you are feeling an enormous hole in your heart that won't be filled, you still came to my blog and left a message.
    What a woman you are. Your mum would be so proud of you, because I certainly am.
    Love to you.
    x
    PS - it's nothing...but I am making you an apron to add to your parcel.

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  19. I am sorry for your loss. On a happier note, I am a breast cancer survivor. Mine was found very early and I only had to have a lumpectomy and radiation, no chemo. Also, please remind all the men in your life that they should be aware that it is possible for them to get breast cancer also.

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  20. I'm making my appointment today, dear Char.

    Hugs to you.

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  21. touching post char, my thoughts go out to "her" and you.

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  22. Wonderful post! Yes,... please everyone do your exams, get those pesky mammograms. My dearest friend is a survivor,.. six years out from surgery now. But always looking over her shoulder wondering if it's creeping up on her again. To "Her" and to you Char, all best wishes.

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  23. So beautifully written. Thank you for this.

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  24. Thank you for sharing this... it is beautiful and heartbreaking...

    love to you and her

    (((hugs))),
    love,
    me

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  25. Thanks for the post. My health is something I totally ignore. I know I should not. Thanks for reminding me of what I already know. Perhaps I will go ahead and make that MD appointment in the morning. Maybe others will, too.

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  26. I don't know any of my family history, so I don't know what to look out for. I've been good about getting mammograms though. Your words, here, are beautiful. Heart-wrenching, but definitely beautiful.
    Brenda

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  27. Char, I am really sorry for what you and your family went through and the wait. Your post is heartwrenching and you continue with dignity and grace. Your Mom would be very proud of you. You deserve a great big hug my friend. wonderful message to others.

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  28. At this time there is no early screening test for lung cancer...By the time most lung cancers are detected they have metastasised to Stage IV and are inoperable and yet it is still not recommended that high risk groups even receive a yearly chest xray...This is true even though after heart disease, lung cancer is the second most common cause of death for women...do I sound a little angry?

    So if there IS a screening tool for any cancer...take advantage of it!

    So sorry for all you have gone through Char...I'm traveling that road with my sister right now...

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  29. My friend, I can hear the hurt in your voice as I read this post. I'm sorry. Just sorry.

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i feel as if each comment was between us as we sat and sipped something warm....i love to hear what you're thinking.