July 14, 2010

thoughts of particular insignifcance on a hot summer day

have you had those days where your mind was a total blank and even when your friends walked up, you had no clue what to say?  and the friends that you really appreciate the most are the ones that pull up a chair and sit right beside you (and think the think) .... and you both have a cuppa of some sort and just sit there (coffee, tea...or wine)?  not saying anything but in reality saying it all?

or driven the car for miles and miles just listening to the radio or the road noise.  pausing from time to time to smile or point out something interesting or beautiful outside the window (see that cloud smiling at you?).

or ridden your bike to the top of a hill and then let yourself fly back down without a thought except the sense of freedom, wonder and happiness that flowed through your body like the wind through your hair (it tastes like summer, sunshine and clover).

there is a beauty in the silence...listening to the heartbeat of the world in the ambient noises that surround me.  the murmurs of the voices in the hallway.  and i worry sometimes that i enjoy those more than i enjoy the conversation (but i don't really.) that i'm more comfortable alone than with others (letting myself feel like an outsider.)  and i can't always find the energy to talk about something silly...or even something serious...

and then there are days where i throw off all of these doubts and thoughts (goodbye gray lady) .... and feel the heartbeat of the earth in my chest - bursting to run, fast, fast...and faster still.  collapsing in a heap at the end of the day because it was all so very much life (tingling, fizzing, crackling).  colors...noises...people...things...places...whirling, whizzing and inviting.  electrifying energy - fascinating pieces of the puzzle to put together.

surely there is some kind of middle ground (isn't there?)

17 comments:

  1. I'm not sure if there is a middle ground, or if I want it. I kind of like the extremes of really feeling life at all ends of the spectrum, just like you describe in your words :)

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  2. Usually I am in the quiet mode...enjoying nature's sounds or no sounds...but sometimes...I just have to crank up the music:) You have captured these ups and downs well...Middle ground?...I probably should work on that too.

    Sitting on the porch with a good friend and a cuppa and just thinking...I want to be there!

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  3. I think our worlds (our own self) need both...the up side and the down side....as well as the middle ground. They have their own special place and together they keep us who we are. It's a balancing act. A tight rope of excitment with a net to catch us as we fly free in the air from one to the other.....
    =)

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  4. Char, the middle ground to me is where it becomes too comfortable, thats why I like the ups and downs, great days so we appreciate the wonderful times....I think I am a loner, I can really understand that, although it is great when your comfortable enough to enjoy your own time...tomorrow could be completely different feelings. lol. take care.

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  5. lovely writing, dear. i live for the middle ground :)

    xo Alison

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  6. there is a middle place and i bet you visit there more often then you realize :)

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  7. Taste Of Home is just so old fashion...makes me HAPPY too

    so good to see you at Farmhouse today

    Kary
    xxx

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  8. there is middle ground, but i am not there very often... i like the highs and believe it or not, the lows...alot of my art inspiration comes from the lows...
    i love your words...you say things i feel but can't articulate..
    hugs to you char...
    xo

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  9. I think I'm probably in the "lows" most of the time -- I used to enjoy the quiet. Now I find myself craving some excitement... I'm not at all sure what the middle ground is...

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  10. I think there must be. I am a quite person by nature. lately i have been getting nothing but quiet.

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  11. if there is middle ground, i am sure i won't know it. i try all the time to find the middle and it is a unknown territory for me...but i press on. usually i just babble.

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  12. This makes me think of my current boyfriend.. nine years ago before dating I drove him back to school when we were just friends. And we were silent. 9 years later... stillmMeant to be I think! :o)

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  13. Ooh, this is kind of how I'm feeling right now. In a place that I need to kind of step out of because I've been there too long (feeling like a loner) and realizing that I kind of miss (some) people when I'm in my hermitting mode. Then I get overly excited to see people and pretty much wear myself out emotionally. The middle ground is out there somewhere...I'm just not sure how to find it.

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  14. sometimes i cherish the silence. and sometimes i revel in the noise! it all depends.

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  15. I prefer beautiful silence to small talk and I like many of the nice things between the two. Some days I just don't care about any of it and other days I love it all...

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  16. I need quiet like I need food. It's one reason I get up so early (4:30 most days). I also love conversation, but I can't go long without the quiet.

    I'm so happy you came over from Susie's blog to visit, because now I found your gorgeous place and am following. Joy.

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  17. as quiet as
    an ant walking,
    a child sleeping,
    a leaf turning colors,
    a first star blinking in the sky
    after sundown..

    a quiet moment is poignant for friends who are comfortable with each other.

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i feel as if each comment was between us as we sat and sipped something warm....i love to hear what you're thinking.