sunday procrasination and self-deprecation

there's the thing.  i discovered some things about myself this morning. 

i woke up with a deadline looming over my head, like the proverbial anvil hanging over wiley's head as he waits on the roadrunner (i also wonder why we knew wiley's name but never knew the roadrunner's name...)  anyway...this bad habit i have of digressing...

like any good procrastinator, i drove to starbucks to get coffee and breakfast.  and while i drove, i thought. i thought and i thought and, i thought again.  i've thought all week about creativity and how it's really difficult to be completely original and artistic stuff like that.  and...to me, there is nothing really new under the sun...it's been done.  so the best we can hope for is to come at this some new way.  so, i came home and brainstormed and came up with three or four solid ideas on a theme that i will try to shoot this afternoon (when the light is better.)

part of my brainstorming involved looking at old issues of artful blogger.  and i look at the talent of people out there and i came upon one blogger's list of what she wanted to do this summer and it was beautiful truly.  and i thought ... yes, i want to do those things too.  i want to write a beautiful love letter to summer.  and then i looked in to my mirror.  you know, reality and stuff like that.  and decided....this is a real summer.

this summer i will:

look at all the photographs of pickling and jam making and other canning things and drool...because i never make the time to do this.  and when i have, it usually turned out to be a big ol' hot mess.  so, i'll buy from the farmer's market.

not dream about going camping or any such as that.  it's too hot and the bugs are way too plentiful.  maybe i can make s'mores over the grill instead.  are campfire songs appropriate around the grill?

think about picking fresh fruit from the trees....or not.  again, the heat and bugs.  but i can make a fresh peach cobbler using fresh peaches that someone else picked.  does that count?

dream about handcrafting some article of clothing and will probably buy the stuff to do it.  and i may even start it....and get frustrated half-way through or interrupted by work demands.  my 'up close' eyes don't seem to work well anymore...even with bifocals.  damn this getting old.

buy two swimsuits in the hopes of going to the lake.  it's the end of july and i'm still waiting.  now i worry about the whiteness of my legs and the unattractive prospective of using fake tanner.  i can't be jackie o (in my mind) with big orange splotches on the backs of my thighs.

look at fireflies inviting me to play and dream about my childhood of catching them in the jar.  as i step outside and mosquitoes latch on like a bum at last call...i remember i really dislike the smell of off. *scratches arm*

wish i had made time to get that pedicure i wanted a month ago.  now i'm too ashamed to slink into the little place near me....i wonder if i should go to the other side of town where i would never been seen again.

work...work from the early morning until the sweltering heat of the day has set.  and i will be tired and brain dead and if i cook dinner that day, i will call it "good."

stare at the bicycle that sits in the corner of my bedroom and kick myself for not getting it out to ride. but then someone speeds down the street and i think that all i need is a broken leg and my big old butt on the pavement.  so i pet it and tell it that it's still pretty.  and fall is around the corner.


in addition to these lovely things that seem to happen to women that are crafting, pickling and doing wonderful things with their wonderful families...leaving people like me in awe....i will probably sweat enough to wish i had taken two showers.  oh wait, i'm a steel magnolia....let me wipe of my glow.