July 25, 2010

sunday procrasination and self-deprecation

there's the thing.  i discovered some things about myself this morning. 

i woke up with a deadline looming over my head, like the proverbial anvil hanging over wiley's head as he waits on the roadrunner (i also wonder why we knew wiley's name but never knew the roadrunner's name...)  anyway...this bad habit i have of digressing...

like any good procrastinator, i drove to starbucks to get coffee and breakfast.  and while i drove, i thought. i thought and i thought and, i thought again.  i've thought all week about creativity and how it's really difficult to be completely original and artistic stuff like that.  and...to me, there is nothing really new under the sun...it's been done.  so the best we can hope for is to come at this some new way.  so, i came home and brainstormed and came up with three or four solid ideas on a theme that i will try to shoot this afternoon (when the light is better.)

part of my brainstorming involved looking at old issues of artful blogger.  and i look at the talent of people out there and i came upon one blogger's list of what she wanted to do this summer and it was beautiful truly.  and i thought ... yes, i want to do those things too.  i want to write a beautiful love letter to summer.  and then i looked in to my mirror.  you know, reality and stuff like that.  and decided....this is a real summer.

this summer i will:

look at all the photographs of pickling and jam making and other canning things and drool...because i never make the time to do this.  and when i have, it usually turned out to be a big ol' hot mess.  so, i'll buy from the farmer's market.

not dream about going camping or any such as that.  it's too hot and the bugs are way too plentiful.  maybe i can make s'mores over the grill instead.  are campfire songs appropriate around the grill?

think about picking fresh fruit from the trees....or not.  again, the heat and bugs.  but i can make a fresh peach cobbler using fresh peaches that someone else picked.  does that count?

dream about handcrafting some article of clothing and will probably buy the stuff to do it.  and i may even start it....and get frustrated half-way through or interrupted by work demands.  my 'up close' eyes don't seem to work well anymore...even with bifocals.  damn this getting old.

buy two swimsuits in the hopes of going to the lake.  it's the end of july and i'm still waiting.  now i worry about the whiteness of my legs and the unattractive prospective of using fake tanner.  i can't be jackie o (in my mind) with big orange splotches on the backs of my thighs.

look at fireflies inviting me to play and dream about my childhood of catching them in the jar.  as i step outside and mosquitoes latch on like a bum at last call...i remember i really dislike the smell of off. *scratches arm*

wish i had made time to get that pedicure i wanted a month ago.  now i'm too ashamed to slink into the little place near me....i wonder if i should go to the other side of town where i would never been seen again.

work...work from the early morning until the sweltering heat of the day has set.  and i will be tired and brain dead and if i cook dinner that day, i will call it "good."

stare at the bicycle that sits in the corner of my bedroom and kick myself for not getting it out to ride. but then someone speeds down the street and i think that all i need is a broken leg and my big old butt on the pavement.  so i pet it and tell it that it's still pretty.  and fall is around the corner.


in addition to these lovely things that seem to happen to women that are crafting, pickling and doing wonderful things with their wonderful families...leaving people like me in awe....i will probably sweat enough to wish i had taken two showers.  oh wait, i'm a steel magnolia....let me wipe of my glow.

25 comments:

  1. Great list going on here. We have several farmstands close to home, and I always enjoying buying their produce, fresh baked pastries, that sort of thing. I'm with you on the heat and bugs regarding picking my own, and am happy to support the local farmers instead :)

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  2. Oh this blog is me to a T. You are not alone.... procrastination is my second... no make that my first name.

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  3. Amen and hallelujah, sister. Right there with you.

    xo Erin

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  4. i have to tell you....this is just about THE BEST thing I have read in this blogland...

    perfect and amen

    kary
    :-)

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  5. A wonderful list - and I'm not the only one who puts off shooting until the light is better? Good to know!

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  6. Oh Char...you and I are more alike than you can know! I'm a great starter of projects and sit in awe of the accomplishments of those whose lives are so much busier than mine. Sigh.

    I paralyze myself with self doubts...I'm not sure if it will work out, maybe I should take a class before I attempt it...and on and on. I'm getting better at telling myself not to take myself so seriously and "who do I think I am...Van Gogh"? Why do we compare ourselves to others and find ourselves lacking? I know we have beautiful gifts to share with the world but somehow it's so much easier to see and value everyone else's. You for instance, have such a gift for putting everyone at ease and being real here (beside's your beautiful photography!).

    Thanks for being "real" here in this post.

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  7. Thank you for being really REAL! I am a total failure at everything except being paralyzingly lazy this summer. I wanted to read lots of books...I've watched lots of HGTV. I wanted to finish lots of household projects...I've watched lots of HGTV. I wanted to exercise and get into shape...I've watched lots of HGTV. The only plus is that I am completely caught up on HGTV.

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  8. Ha! I love this. Tell it like it really is. Why is it so hard to be honest with ourselves about what we're really going to do? I mean I have big hopes and dreams about accomplishing all kinds of stuff, but honestly, I'm lucky if I get halfway to any of it. You've inspired me to get serious about being realistic!

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  9. i loved this. so many of those things are so true to me too. we - at least i - seem to live in the hope of doing all these things on a wish list but the reality is, i never get round to them, or when i do, it is really not all that great as i thought it would be.

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  10. I want to be lost in your head! Write your beautiful summer love letter, I want to read it. And get on your bike and ride, if only to feel the breeze on your face.

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  11. Char, to me, every time i read your blog, i can't believe how much you do manage to do! so funny how self-perception can differ from others. Well I know what you mean about putting stuff off--i'm procrastinating fixing things around the house about a mile long...hope you enjoyed your weekend!
    xo Mary Jo

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  12. Love your list! I have a list set as my desktop background of things to do before summer is over... and riding the bike is on mine too!

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  13. songs around a grill with marshmallows melting in chocolate have to right anywhere!

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  14. I agree with My Farmhouse Kitchen comment: "...his is just about THE BEST thing I have read in this blogland..."

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  15. Very interesting Char, love your list, procrastination is my second name...take care, have a great week.

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  16. Oh, I am dying laughing here. Truth, sister. You told the truth right here. I love this!

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  17. i think you wrote this for you, but WOW....it's fitting all the rest of like a tailored t-shirt !

    seriously, i smiled and laughed all the way through it !.....the fake tanner, the unfinished clothing project....the unridden bike.....TOTALLY ME !

    xoxo

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  18. Oh I know I know I know!!!! my bike it lying all pitiful in the shed with a flat tire and the chain hanging off. ***weep***
    heat and bugs.. why in God's name do we live here?

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  19. Love this post ... and just look at the creativity that went into it. I say ... never done before. I too get lost in it has all really been done before ... but I guess not by me and just like our thumb print and our eyes no two are alike. Thanks for a great post and a chuckle at myself - always good medicine! ann

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  20. This is just so funny Char! I think we are all laughing because we all see ourselves in your post:) There appear to be other commenters that are claiming to be the biggest procrastionaors around...but they are wrong because the crown of procrasinating has to go to me:)
    xo and thanks for a wonderful laugh on a Monday morning...and yes I've been reading this as I procrasinate doing all the things I need to do today:)

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  21. oh dear friend, i was waiting for you at a corner table, latte in hand, no doubt in my mind of the conversation awaiting us. we would agree on all points, toast each, laugh that sometimes good enough is just that good enough.

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  22. Not everyone can make an awesome, honest, realistic list like that. I can't even begin to tell you how many unfinished sewing/crafting/photo projects I have stashed away in the closets. I have grand ideas but not the energy to carry them out. Or I spend way too much time on the computer. Take your pick.

    I love your honesty, Char. Reading your posts is like looking in a mirror sometimes.

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  23. You just said exactly how I feel. Artful Blogger is a beautiful magazine and so full of wonderful ideas and everyone else's beautiful and creative work. Sometimes when I read it, it makes me feel pretty down.
    We need to remember that these artful bloggers are only showing the truly wonderful things because who wants to see pictures of all the bad stuff that goes along with it?
    I hate the scent of Off too. And the incredible heat down there makes me want to slap Mother Nature for you.

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  24. This list is awesome...so real. I love that about your writing.

    Geez..bugs and heat really put a damper on things, don't they?

    I am going the backwards route this year...instead of writing up a list and not doing half of the things on my list, resulting in bad feelings, I am winging it....trying to be spontaneous...and maybe at the end of summer I will have a list of things I did that I didn't see coming!

    But I love your list...I really do. :)

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i feel as if each comment was between us as we sat and sipped something warm....i love to hear what you're thinking.