the voice (no...not the tv show)

would it perhaps help if i brought brownies with the yummiest peanut butter icing that we could whip up?  i know that i've said one to many times that my life seems to be on this accelerated path that i can't seem to stop.  which is exactly what i wished for all those months i was scared that i would not find a job.  the job is at times exciting, frustrating, scary, maddening, funny, fun, heartbreaking and many other yin/yang words that mish-mash together to explain life.  and now...now comes another big step.  so, i searched my heart and wondered where does it leave this blog?  oh ramblins... "i can't quit cha...."

i've neglected this and there are days that i wonder if i've lost a voice but still i keep my little notebooks and journals with ideas.  something seems locked with in and i read other bloggers like ...susannah conway who muses about blogs that are always happy and "up".  no one is up all the time but i wonder sometimes if my realism is too much - no one likes a whiner either.  so...let me regale you with some tales from the past couple of weeks. 

as you know, my sweet model christy graduated from high school and i'm very proud of her.  she's been accepted in a nearby college and is taking advantage of the cost savings to live at home.  great news for me as i get to keep my model.  right?  *smile*  we worked hard on her tea and the girls were so happy with all the homemade goodies.  actually, her mom and i were pressed by a couple people to cater other teas.  but...i know catering is not in my blood.  i love doing the occasional party - but that is hard work!  the sweetest compliment christy paid me that she was proud to have adults like me in her life that serve as great role models. 

the next day i flew to baltimore to a three day meeting.  i did get to explore the inner harbor and though i didn't have time to go to the aquarium or the other tourist sites, i did get to eat fantastic tapas and visit with peers.  i also gave my first presentation to the crowd and i'm happy to say i survived it.  *whew*  the funniest story is one morning at breakfast i walked up to a table with two ladies i haven't met before - believe me, there is no mistaking my accent when you hear me.  so as i introduce myself one lady pipes up and says, "oh i know your accent - you're from alabama.  i'm from ___________ (she names a bidder on a recent contract that did not win the bid)"  mind you, this was in a very sarcastic tone.  i just smiled and said, "oh i'm sorry and i was an evaluator too...pity"  just goes to show you to be nice to everyone, you never know who you will be seated next to at one of these meetings.  even better i folded the antidote into my presentation when talking about the procurement process.

came home...paid our first checks....had a great holiday weekend - sat with the nieces, saw two movies and one play.  (movies - the hangover 2, bridesmaids (yes...again)) (play - moonlight and magnolias (about the rewriting the screenplay for gone with the wind.))  back at work this week - today found out about a great opportunity for advancement...but a scary one as i will be working twice as hard. 

in other news, i think i'm moving out on my own by the end of summer.  it's time - i adore my brother but i'm itching to have my own place again.  it will be scary as i'm looking at a house instead of an apartment but i keep telling myself it will allow me to have a honest to goodness studio.  think positive thoughts about me making the right and good decisions.

sorry to be so long winded but i wanted to let you know what's been going on with me.  now i have to work hard to catch back up with you all.  i will read but may not be able to comment on all the great stuff you've written since i've been gone.  i will let you know i've been by.  and i also ask your positive thoughts as i struggle through my blogging voice. 

a short break....

the tea went well, the photobooth didn't work out as her momma didn't have room for it...though we did take some photographs.  the week has been dance recitals, sending out the first checks for my work program that i'm heading up, the tea (prep and execution) and now exhaustion.  tomorrow i leave at 6:00 a.m. for two short days in baltimore and running back home to be at work so someone else can be on vacation.  *whew*



so much love but...i will be back on thursday.  i miss you guys!

the internet hates me.  it does.  it crawls along at a snails pace and when i'm behind, it acts like the recalcitrant child i know it to be.  i know because i was that same child.  the hurrier you wanted me to go the behinder i made sure that i was. 

and the sun is high and bright as i'm dashing out of the house.  lately i always feel like i'm behind the times.  i'm excited for the weekend.  i'm helping with a graduation tea for my pretty little model, christy, and it should be fun.  i need to get the things together for a photo booth that she wants to have.  i've made favor bags for visits to the photobooth - we should have lots of fun.

all the cool kids....

in my other life....



i would live in a house shaped like a  triangle on the beach...somewhere warm and happy.  where children laugh and adults giggle and the air smells like warm cinnamon cookies baking in the oven.

 

and you would come over for simple lunches.  and we would chat for hours while watching the sea and the waves dancing.  the salt would make our hair wild and wooly and we would laugh belly laughs that made our sides ache.

then after sunset, we would go to the carnival and ride the merry-go-round until we were dizzy.  we would sup on wonderful foods and eat with our fingers - never spilling a drop or worrying about being messy.  carnivals are know for that kind of thing you know.  

after the carnival we take a walk on the beach.  there we could stare at the stars, wish on shooting stars and solve the world's problems.  there would be peace and understanding - and somehow we would figure out how to feed the starving children and make mosquitoes turn into butterflies.  because the world definitely needs more butterflies.

then, when we are tired, we would slip into cotton sheets and sleep sweet dreams of happy places and wonderful things.

the life of simple joys, no worries, and plenty of love is for me - the rest is gravy on my potatoes. 

the weather predicted rain so i settled in for a sleep in.  but, the weather was wrong and now i feel guilty that i didn't plan better for this gift of a day.  all is green and vibrant.  the kind of green that you think you should say verdant instead.  you know, to show that you have an appreciation for the depth and lushness of the green.

the sky is blue - that beautiful light cornflower blue - with huge puffy clouds floating along.  even the winds are still so they move slowly....slowly... like my body creaking along on wounded knees.

i need to get up and get busy.  maybe take in a movie, get some fun food and go by the nursery - i'm going to dive into the world of succulents this year.  i've been obsessed with hens and chicks for a while.

i'm slowly catching up with all of you writers....boy, give a girl a few days off and you write over 700 blogs between the lot of you.

and if you want to know more about yourself...please check this out...you will know so much more.  

and, check out i want a real love by my fave modern poet, jonathan b tucker.   think i could find the guy version of this?