November 30, 2010
of all the seasons, winter is not my favorite...it's cold and damp and though i love that the coldness allows the flowers to bloom in the spring and takes care of a rather large bug population, it leaves me feeling a bit isolated and alone. but maybe that is its purpose - to allow us to feel those feelings so when we are with friends and family that we appreciate their company? i tend to think in looking at both sides of the coin, the half full, yet half empty glass. i'm not so much oppotomistic as i'm practical and firmly convinced that worry will not change anything.
i wanted a big bang to finish up this month...but it seems that i'm going with a whimper - - - sorta. so as the fall slips into winter and november slips into december, i will remember too that all downs are accompanied by ups. today i'm grateful for warm beds, good coffee and things that comfort.
today's gratitude - on this day, i'm grateful for blankets, wooly socks, coffee and tea, comfort, beds with fluffy comforters and soft pillows. i'm grateful big picture windows that allow me to see the beauty that surrounds me, even when it's gray and brown. and i'm grateful that i know cold winds will bring bright sunshine and warm weather in the spring.
today on my i-pod - landslide (dixie chicks cover), thank you (dido), i feel the earth move (carole king), have i told you lately (van morrision), champagne supernova (oasis), i wonder (chris isaak)
November 29, 2010
but...when you hear children laughing - how can things be wrong? well, unless they're laughing at you...am i right?
last night i took the oldest niece to see "tangled" and we had a good time. the movie was a treat - well written and the artwork is always amazing with disney. so detailed. though some of the subject matter was a bit over the head of a five year old (about to be six - eek!) i think it was great that big lessons such as sacrifice and honor were being taught through this medium. and it also teaches well that "bad people" are not always in ugly packages. so, thumbs up from me and GA.
today's gratitude - i'm grateful that i can laugh - not only at something funny, but at myself when i mess up. i'm grateful for having friends and family that make me laugh and who light up the room with their smiles.
November 28, 2010
and what i need to let you know that i appreciate you letting me be authentic. that you read even when i'm struggling with anger, sadness, confusion...i appreciate that friendship and closeness that develops after what, three years for some of you guys...perhaps longer for a few. another reason i've been pondering the "authentic" is going to see the leibovitz exhibit at the museum this weekend.
i've been a leibovitz fan for a while - even though some would argue that she just "clicks" the camera now instead of doing all the things that we as struggling photographers do (dress the set, pose, light, process, etc.) i was completely engulfed by the exhibit, "women." susan sontag authored the book that accompanied the exhibit, but the portraits truly stand alone. powerful, evocative, heartbreaking, and united by being female in all the various forms. powerful women, unknown women, athletes, workers, artists, mothers, daughters...the gamut. a celebration of the female...and the real. while some would argue that the famous were portrayed in a more flattering light i would argue that they were treated the same - it's just that the famous are probably more used to being photographed. blthye danner is not afraid to show her crowfeet. but, the thing that stuck me most is that i doubt photoshop was used. there were women with bruises, freckles, wrinkles, chin hair, pretty, not so pretty, muscular, skinny, overweight, pot bellies, jiggly underarms, smooth skinned, oily skin, dry skin. they were women. and i didn't judge them on their beauty - what i was struck by was the statement each of them made in their photograph.
i wanted to pull up a chair and sit and stare at each of the portrait for hours. i wanted to crawl inside leibovitz's brain and suck up all the thoughts and ideas she had as she approproached the subjects. looking at the framing and the composition - i heard instructors in the back of my head and then watched as leibovitz broke those rules (don't put someone in the middle of the frame, don't have such a shallow dof that the ears are not in focus, smooth out the skin so the chin hairs don't show...)
the artist allowed the subject to be authentic. you allow me to be authentic. you are artists - you see the beauty even when it may be in different packages...and for that i am grateful.
today's gratitude - i'm grateful for each of my friends that take the time out of their day to read this little bit of my life. that support and guide me through my tough times. that laugh with me when i need it and also hold my hand when i need it. i could never say thank you enough.
today on my ipod - nothing really because i've been running to meetings all day....but, if i could - i would be listening to scratchy french records (circa 1940s) .... and would maybe be sipping on some tea because it's drizzling rain outside and looks very cold and dreary (even though it's only in the 50s.)
November 27, 2010
i long for things that i can't whisper to myself (except in the dark of my room, late...late...late at night). the dreams of say - taking off for a trip around the world with just my camera, a few books and whatever else an intrepid modern day margaret bourke white might carry in her backpack. longings are the things that i feel that i've grown too responsible for...to old to do ... or too poor. and (pish...pish) i know if that was truly a dream i would fight to make it happen. so is longing a fear....or a crutch?
i say no... i say that longing in this way is a way to allow ourselves to take magical adventures. a way to take the dreams we have for a test drive before planning the plans of action. when dreams manifest, you can bet longing had a hand in that manifestation. longing is the beginning of the promise that dreams urge you to keep. promises that you are scared to hope for....promises that secretly nudge at you until hope finally wins. do you long? do you laugh them away? does longing make you feel as though you settled? longing makes me feel alive and as long as i yearn, i know that i will continue to dream. and as long as i dream...i'm alive.
today's gratitude - i am thankful for the ability to long - to yearn - to dream magical dreams. and as i long, i take the time make plans for dreams to become actions. longing allows my practical side to take flight and roam free. it is a beautiful time.
today on my i-pod - fly me courageous (drivin' n cryin'), desire (u2), here comes the sun (the beatles), building a mystery (sarah mclachlan), i wonder (chris isaak), beautiful (india arie)
November 26, 2010
i use the day to recuperate and relax - the football game is on this afternoon. you know that one where the elephant will probably eating a lot of crow because tiger meat will not be available (alabama vs. auburn for those not familiar with the mascots). i won't watch the game - i will know the results by the moans and groans of my brother watching on the flat screen. this has not been alabama's year.
today's gratitude - having a clean house today to enjoy and relax in this afternoon. the candles burning bright against the gray, sullen day. the memories of the holiday and the planning for the christmas season. now that the turkey has had his due, it's time for the christmas season. now i gather my thoughts about a tree, presents and events at work. it is a good time for the aftermath.
today on my i-pod (extended holiday version) - girl you'll be a woman soon (urge overkill cover), caramel (suzanne vega), son of a preacher man (dusty springfield), angel mine (cowboy junkies), hello it's me (todd rundgren), it's probably me (sting), rebecca (pat mcgee band), easy tonight (five for fighting), the weight (the band), i say a little prayer for you (aretha franklin), he went to paris (jimmy buffet), lover's cross (jim croce), broken (peter searcy), hallelujah (jeff buckley)
November 25, 2010
but all things considered...that is not such a bad thing really. and, when it gets down to it - we should all have at least one true love, the love of self. so anyway - that list not being fulfilled at the moment - i'm pretty damn happy with my life as it is currently.
so, thanksgiving - and yes, i am so very thankful. for all there is in my life - for the air i breathe, the job, the family, friends, a creative outlet, relatively good health, and the list goes on....
and tonight as we were eating the dinner we prepared together - there were more things that washed over me - the laughter of nieces, the deep voices of my nephews as they grow up, the closeness of my family, friends that are like family, good food, equally good company. that's a lot of gratitude from this girl.
November 24, 2010
today was spent preparing for tomorrow. items were picked up, cleaning was done and the cooking has begun. rain didn't stop us but allowed me the time to sit and make silly place cards for the table. tomorrow is the time to gather.
as i prepare, i think about family and friends...and of course friends that seem like family. they are like the rain - they nourish, heal...refresh - all wonderful things. and when you need it - they allow introspection.
today's gratitude - i'm thankful for the cooler weather and rain...they make it seem like the holidays instead of the almost summer like weather we've been having with temperatures in the 80's. i'm grateful for the rain that washes away the dust and dirt, leaving us with drenched reds and golds. i count my blessings.
and to all of you...i hope you have the most beautiful of holidays - filled with joyous things that bring you peace, love and joy
November 23, 2010
today gratitude - as i prepare for the holiday, i am grateful to have the joyful anticipation of getting together with family and friends that are like family.
November 22, 2010
i'll wait for you....come back tomorrow if you don't want to know...really - it's cool with me.
okay - don't say i didn't warn you though. if you read on, then i'm thinking you're okay with knowing part of the movie (if you haven't seen it yet).... *taps foots while you debate if you're sure*
*whew* anyway - my favorite part is at the end when she kills the jabberwock and how she preps herself for that victory (don't you just love the word, victory?). she convinces herself of impossible things every day - that she can turn an impossible situation into a victory.
today's gratitude - i'm thankful for my skills that i put to use in seemingly impossible tasks to pave a road for the victories in my life. i'm also grateful for the impossible tasks to prove that i can climb mountains and overcome "big deals" and have the self confidence to do these things. and when it seems dark and i know that i "can't" that maybe i can channel alice and believe six impossible things today.
today on my i-pod - pink moon (nick drake), harvest moon (neil young), your body is a wonderland (john mayer), the remedy (jason mraz)
November 21, 2010
today's gratitude - i am thankful for that roof that keeps me protected and safe. whens the winds blow, the rain comes and the cold weather persists - that roof is there for me. i don't have to worry where i will be to be protected - it's just there. there are so many people in this world that do not have protection or safety and there for the grace of god, could be me. there is much to be grateful over this year and this is just one of the things.
today on my i-pod - the galway girl (sharon shannon), these are the days (van morrison), dance with me (orleans), take it to the limit (the eagles), iris (the goo-goo dolls), halo (beyonce)
November 20, 2010
today's gratitude - though i'm grateful for the convenience i have to live my life to my expectations, i'm also grateful that i recognize this and am trying to live "slower" with more deliberance and gratitude about what is not convenient. like the time it takes to cook a meal instead of buying a meal, the time it takes to make cookies for the cookie swap, the sitting down to write a handwritten letter to a soldier. this year, as i'm trying to put more "service" into my life - let me also be grateful for the ease i have in my life. there are many that are not as lucky as i am and wish they could overcome their hardships to have a better life. let me be truly grateful for that and the roles of others that have contributed to that for me.
today on my i-pod - hanging by a moment (lifehouse), breakin' me (jonny lang), runaway train (soul asylum), save me (aimee mann), feeling good (nina simone), let's stay together (al green)
November 19, 2010
this weekend i will making lists for the holiday - a grocery list, a menu, a list of who is doing what and when. pick up the turkey and ham, pick up the cakes, get a card table....all the things that make the holiday fun instead of work. i like my lists.
today's gratitude - as i prepare for the holidays, i'm grateful for the time to plan and enjoy. the joy that we have in doing for others and the ability to relax enough not to make it work. and i'm grateful for my lists.
November 18, 2010
i'm grateful for libraries that have continued to give the gift of reading to all that take that opportunity. some of my fondest memories of childhood were spent at the local library as i explored the world of nancy drew, the hardy boys and was inspired by biographies of great leaders.
today on my i-pod - the glee albums on repeat.
November 17, 2010
today's gratitude - just like tiny things last week. this week i am grateful for things that bring a sense of comfort to my life - a pillow top mattress and my dwell studio comforter (from target), good coffee (yum - dunkin donuts), and comfortable shoes (sketchers). because if i don't have enough sleep, caffeine and happy feet i'm rather a grumpy grump. and i also realize that i'm rather blessed to have these things. now, about that lip gloss - it's not a necessity, but it just makes me feel good - my latest crush is the 'buxom' lip gloss from bare essentials. i don't think that it really makes my lips fuller - but i love that minty cool feeling it gives my lips. it also seems to fulfill my ridic habit of carrying around two tubes of lipstick and however many lipglosses - maybe i'm preparing for an upcoming kissing surplus? (don't i wish! ha!)
today on my i-pod - songbird (eva cassidy), rihannon (fleetwood mac), landslide (the dixie chicks), silver springs (fleetwood mac), gold dust woman (covered by sister hazel)
November 16, 2010
matisse said that "creativity takes courage". now i don't know if that is completely true or not, but i think creativity takes commitment and a good amount of time and energy (C=t+e2 perhaps?) without those elements my creativity seems to flounder. lately i haven't had much time or energy and as a result, my creativity muse seems to have taken a hike. i know that i never felt like a better photographer than when i was without a job...it seems that different talents ebb and flow as they are needed...or is that channeled.
this year my sister and i have declared that we are taking back thanksgiving. in the past three years we've been going to the country club as it was easier than coping with missing family members, but it's time now to rebuild those memories for the generations to follow. i find myself excited about going shopping this weekend and thinking of making dressing while i watch the parade thursday morning. it brings happy smiles to my day.
today's gratitude - having the memories to share with my nieces and nephews and making the new memories for them to carry forward. though i may not be with them forever, they will carry my memory forward, just as they do with their grandparents and loved ones.
today on my i-pod - lay lady lay (bob dylan), i'm like a bird (nellie furtado), feels like home (chantal k....i never can spell her name right), days like this (van morrison)
November 15, 2010
today's gratitude - fresh vegetables and the abundanace that comes to my table from right were i live. as i prepare for the holiday next week, i'm grateful to feed my family as we come together to celebrate. and this gives me something to look forward to in the coming months - the anticipation of next summer's treasures of butterbeans, peas and okra.
today on my i-pod - interstate love song (stone temple pilots), 1979 (smashing pumpkins), hard to handle (black crows), all for you (sister hazel), push (matchbox twenty), time (hootie & the blowfish), clumsy (our lady peace), knocking on heaven's door (bob dylan)
November 14, 2010
today's gratitude: nature's paintbrush and fall color. today i took a drive along highway 9 and highway 49 to mount cheaha, alabama's highest point. though overcast and gray at the peak, i would enthralled with the golds and reds along the way.
November 13, 2010
so...despite all good intentions, you get the spring shot of this beautiful garden instead of the fall shot. see what a little excitement can do for you? *smile*
toaay's gratitude: i am grateful for sleep, especially when it eludes me. i love the comfort of waking up refreshed and happy on weekends. and though i started off on the wrong foot, i'm also grateful for a great weekend with wonderful company....i learned the ins and outs of being a wing-girl for a male friend and laughed at his dilemmas as four women vied for his attention. the mysteries of dating, right? *smile*
today on my i-pod: a running soundtrack of 80's music as we shopped - laughing with how ridiculous we sounded as we sang along to the songs....and, also our silly, silly jokes about "no gas for you"
November 12, 2010
working with angie's team was great fun and through him, another friend has gone on and become deeply involved in the music industry. the world of music is a weird little world when you pull back the curtain. they work so hard and it's really almost serendipitous when they make their way. it also chews people up and spits them out due to the quick turns and twists the public take. we tease amongst ourselves that it pulls the curtain back from the wizard when you're a fan. you learn that heroes are human. that being said, if you're ever able to hear angie, i encourage you to do it - it's crazy how amazing his voice is.
but...he's not my gratitude today...music is. today's gratitude: music is one of those things that gets me through the days and it suits my every mood. it inspires me, lifts me up...it soothes me, comforts me and keeps me great company. music of every kind...and yes, i have my favorites and my not so favorites. lately, i've learned to eat my words about a lot of stuff that i never thought i would like....and i try to listen with open ears. i always give you my list....what's yours' this week?
today on my i-pod: cry, hush, gravity, hard woman to love, child you're the revolution, the american, free man, seed, caroline, american teenage tale, wonderland (originals by angie) and then some of my favorite covers that he performs -- rocketman/space oddity, fight for your right, midnight rider.
November 11, 2010
November 10, 2010
today's gratitude - there are so many tiny things to be grateful about, i will do a catch all of the currents that i'm grateful for ... a good week, gorgeous weather, good health, happy siblings, and the discovery of dunkin donuts coffee. the colors of fall apples and pumpkins and the wispy marestail clouds that freckled my bright blue sky - they turned into gorgeous reds as the sun sank on a good day. homemade hamburgers with cheese and pickles served with ice cold soda and chips. and a day tomorrow to enjoy being home.
today on my ipod - rotten (angie aparo), do you sleep (lisa loeb), everything you want (vertical horizon), volcano (damien rice), fast as you can (fiona apple), anyone else but you (moldy peaches), he thinks he'll keep her (mary chapin carpenter), window (guster)
November 9, 2010
today's gratitude - i'm grateful for the quiet time with my thoughts. i shift through things to be done and slowly my desk takes shape again. i have time to focus and clear away debris and other tasks that i haven't had time to take care of...and, there suddenly i find a bit of happiness and peace.
my friends, i've been woefully behind on blog reading and checking out your photography on flickr. my apologies and i'm planning to catch up this week. i haven't ditched you...i've been held away by other duties. i will catch up with you soon.
November 8, 2010
let's face it world...i'm an owl and not a lark. i'm the first to admit it.
so when the time changes in the fall, i am - for a couple of weeks - happy to get out of bed and feel refreshed. there is something for that piece of happiness. it makes the days so much better.
today's gratitude - i'm thankful for that wonderful feeling of getting enough sleep and having the right attitude for getting back to work. i'm grateful for the change in time that gives me a great way to wake up in the morning - that beautiful rose colored light. it's small, but so very important.
today on my ipod - i'm savoring whole cd's today - so far: tapestry by carole king, cracked rear view by hootie & the blowfish, and misguided roses by edwin mccain.
November 7, 2010
anyway - it was a lot of fun and i got to see a couple of people that i haven't seen since high school. i also learned a rather raunchy use for choroseptic (don't ask!) it always pays to learn! *laugh*
today's gratitude - i'm grateful for time with family and friends as i always feel welcome and loved. and i'm also grateful for time alone when i need to decompress and reflect on the week's happening. the weekend is always such a great time for both of these.
today on my ipod - seven bridges road (the eagles), sweet home alabama (lynard skynard), footloose (kenny loggins), the boys are back in town (thin lizzie), livin' on a prayer (bon jovi), jump (van halen)
November 6, 2010
today's gratitude - i'm grateful that i am fortunate enough to have the days where i can relax and take a breath. to enjoy the down time and unwind after a difficult week. it's cool outside and i'm snuggled in watching movies, drinking now hot tea from my new cup (thanks amy jo). and on a whimsy note - i'm also grateful for marshmallow treats. *smile*
today on my ipod - northern sky (nick drake) on repeat really....i adore that song.
November 5, 2010
today's gratitude - i'm grateful when friends get the recognition they deserve. i'm happy to be in the glow of their achievements. and though everyone may not agree with them, i'm grateful that we can come together to give her that recognition for what she did for the underserved in alabama.
November 4, 2010
i found a side door left unlocked and raced to the phone just as it hung up in my face - it immediately rang again and the caller hung up on me. as i dashed to my office, after forwarding the phone to mine, it rang a third time where the caller asked for my assistant and i said angerily, that she was not in and he asked "did she ask you to tell me that"
i stomped off to my office, wet and angry.
today's gratitude: as i cool off, and think about how this situation could be different. i could have answered my phone this morning or checked my messages - she left me one earlier stating that she would be in later. i could have made time to pick up a key and i would not have been locked out of my office or had to find a way to "break in". and if i had taken more responsibility about getting up earlier instead always allowing myself to be in at the last minute, then i would not be so anger. and i laugh because a good friend always tells me, when you point the finger at someone else, there are three fingers pointing back at you. so i'm grateful for good friends that put me in my place. i'm grateful for the ability to laugh at myself. and i'm grateful for the assistant too...even on days i get flustered and a bit angry. i know we will work this out.
today on my i-pod: you wanted more (tonic), free ride (edger winter), sunshine (jonathan edwards), roll on (little willies), get over it (the eagles), lithum (nirvana)
November 3, 2010
my plan? linking hands with others on the ledge and finding a way to getting to the goal.
today's gratitude - i'm grateful for finish lines so i can make new beginnings. as susan st. james said, every finish line is the start of a whole new race. today as i stretch and ready myself for the new race, i'm grateful for having a finish line to help plan the next steps - a way to help me along the right track.
today on my ipod - angel flying too close to the ground (willie nelson), lovely day (bill withers), fire and rain (james taylor), long time gone (gin blossoms), peace train (cat stevens), free man (angie aparo), the kitchen song (edwin mccain)
November 2, 2010
so today - make a new friend, visit a new blog, explore, leap - grow.
today on my ipod - hush (angie aparo), lay lady lay (bob dylan), give a little bit (covered by the goo goo dolls), world spins madly on (the weepies), tupelo honey (van morrison), moonlight mile (the rolling stones), angel eyes (jeff healey), close to you (far too jones)
November 1, 2010
first my daily gratitude - i am grateful that i have a job that is interesting and keeps me on my toes. it keeps my brain sharp and helps me think "outside the box" when it comes to solving problems. that makes the day pass so much faster.
since i last spoke to you....there have been many changes at work in that we have to go back to the beginning and plot a slightly different path. it's not as bad as we thought after taking the weekend to think - but, a different way to get to the same goal. my cutey pie niece turns three tomorrow and we had the annual halloween/birthday celebration last night. so adorable. i found that amazon has the penguin classic books on sale - so if you're looking to expand a collection, it's a great opportunity.
i'm having big sleep disruptions - major - so last night was filled with dreams about a city that traffic drives overhead and then all people were located underneath in varying levels. in some ways, it was how i envision hell - but without the heat...just lots of stores on many levels. not sure what all of that means so i'll see if i revisit that tonight. in the meantime i read "whistlin' dixie in a nor-easterner" (mind candy) and have begun to re-read emma.
for those of you that watched project runway - how shocked were you??? i believe mondo was robbed...robbed i tell you.
today on my i-pod - two (ryan adams), diamonds and rust (joan baez), breakin' me (jonny lang), tempted (squeeze), feels like rain (john hiatt), fast car (tracy chapman), stuck in a moment (u2), i'm on fire (bruce springsteen)