happy birthday sis

xo

too many thoughts

today my mother would have been 72.  i don't know really how she would have reacted to being that age, except for being grateful to have reached it.  she would have loved a party with the family, hugs from her grandchildren and being surrounded by people that love her.  and my mother, for all of her follibles, was well loved by most that knew her.  and i miss her.  i miss her a bunch.  and i feel like every time i say that in this place, that i need to acknowledge all of you that are missing someone.  so i stop and say a short prayer for them too.  but as the saying goes, life really is too short to live with regrets.  so today i celebrate all that she was.  she was an elvis loving, margarita drinking, silver-haired, laughing, historical romance reading, hug-dispensing, pepsi (not-coke) loving, creative woman.  so - happy birthday mom - hope you celebrate with all that you love that are with you. 

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for some reason, a collaborative book of some sort between my blogging buddies.  for some reason today it just popped in my head.  maybe i've been reading too many cookbooks by patricia yearwood or blogs or something but...it is just nagging me.  i'm not talking about one of those fancy blurb books that costs so much money - unless you all felt that way.  but i'm thinking like everyone take a couple of pages - type recipes, tips, add photographs, drawings, jokes, quotes, whatever...a hodgepodge of advice.  and then let's put it all together in a giant sandwich of something.  we can share it via a pdf or something.  my brain hasn't gotten that far.

also...for those of you that participated in lens.us.together.  we have come to the end of our year together - do we want to continue...let it go into that good place or what?  if you are interested, have suggestions or what.  let us know.  or maybe that's where our pages can go....onto that blog.  just a thought about it anyway.

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today on my ipod - harvest moon (neil young), i shall be released (bob dylan), bring it on home to me (sam cook), good (better than ezra), anna begins (counting crows), send it up (vertical horizon), slow dancing in a burning room (john mayer), where are you going (dave matthews band), i fall to pieces (patsy cline), sugar magnolia (grateful dead)

pretty pretty princesses

it's hard to believe that my oldest niece is five. today was her princess birthday and the best cinderella ever came to her party along with her friend belle. the girls were mesmerized. but we adult laughed the entire time - as cinderella was trying to tell her story of meeting her prince, all the girls chimed in on what happened next. i will hand it to her - she had the patience of a saint. both princesses sang songs and totally enchanted the girls.



all in all it was a very wonderful birthday - i was utterly charmed by all the hugs and smiles the princesses gave and how well they played together.

gratitude:: day 1 of 30

how could i start this project with anything but gratitude for my family? i couldn't. it's not in me. as i go through my life, i can't imagine them not being a part of me. i would think it would be like phantom limb pain, but it would be in the general chest area as i would be missing my heart.

this shot is not the best - it was too dark in the house, the weather was too bad and i really hate using the flash as we're packed into the dining room. my little emme is two today but we have celebrated her birthday on halloween. it's neat and tidy - two parties in one. and any occasion for cake is good by me.

so...day one:: i am grateful for my family without who i would be incomplete and lost. thank you for being there for me and lifting me up when i could not lift myself. thank you for allowing me to love your children when i could not have my own. thank you for being the beautiful yous that all of you are.

potato salad was had by all

the birthday party was a wonderful time and i'm happy to report the potato salad was received very well. my sister in law laughed at we siblings as we are used to certain meal items being catered to our taste by mom - which makes the exact ingredients of mom's potato salad much more of a guess than common knowledge. my youngest brother swears she never put onions in it - my other brother didn't know about the celery seed - when she tried to cater it to me, she left out mustard and onion. the only agreement were the eggs and olives. here is what i remember chopping many, many, many times as a child: olives, eggs, celery (eventually she started using celery seeds instead), pimentos and onion. to that she added mayo (miracle whip actually), mustard, sweet relish and potatoes. served cold.

the brownie pops eventually just turned into individual brownie cakes - the girls were so happy having their very own cakes and candles. it was just the best time - except i forgot to actually light my sister's candles. hahahaha - it was very hectic.

but....in getting ready for the company i finally got the studio arranged the way i want it. the extra furniture previously in the way was stored and i'm in heaven. look at how the light hits my little table (built by my father). (of course the girls instantly loved playing with all the bottles) it was so inspiring that i'm going to tackle my bed room next. i'm leaning towards decorating in there with mustard and blues with the already established (before i moved in browns and khakis).

and ... a front has moved in and changed the humidity to nothing. i'm in heaven. hope you are too.

exhaustion

so far today, i've shopped at the evil empire (wally world) to replace the toaster oven that burned out and to try and find tiny little cake pans. since i couldn't find the tiny cake pans i wanted (more on why later) i went to hobby lobby. there i was inspired to attempt brownie pops. from there to the grocery.

why all the activity? my beautiful baby sister's birthday was yesterday and we're having the family dinner tomorrow. now, my niece (ga or gigi) doesn't believe in birthdays unless you're celebrating hers. oh no, she's not spoiled at all. so in an attempt to get her blessings on a party, i attempted to explain the concept of an unbirthday (from alice in wonderland).

Alice: Unbirthday? I'm sorry, but I don't quite understand.
March Hare: It's very simple. Now, thirty days has Septem -No. wait... An unbirthday, if you have a birthday, then you -
[laughs]
March Hare: She doesn't know what an unbirthday is.

so, now she has told her mom that it's her birthday too. (ok, the concept was a bit much for a four-year-old - oops) so, i wanted to make little cakes for she and her sister. the little cakes turned out a bit dry but I think the brownie pops will be just the thing. now they just have to cool enough to decorate. in the mean time, baby sis will be happy with the lemon poundcake (along with barbeque, potato salad and baked beans). a good time to be had by all. plus, i get baby lovin' too.

bits and pieces again

it was a busy weekend. you know one of those were you have time but don't really have time? in it i had dinner with family, went to the land of oz and timetraveled back to the sixties . . . friday night i realized that young palates do not really get the subtle differences between ground beef and italian sausage - just that it tastes 'weird'. and that dark caramel is not really burned (they ate it though).

saturday i realized that love can be expressed in many, many ways - in this case my friend lisa had this beautiful, wonderful over the top birthday party for her granddaughter were we were all transported over the rainbow to munchkin land. and the children adored it. then we spent the afternoon recovering on the front porch. i love just sitting around with friends on the porch . . . i got caught up with them and found how much i missed a lot of people.

sunday my sister and friend, charolette, went to see beehive. a very fun show - i remember my mom listening to so many of these songs. though the crowd was mostly gray - it was so cute when the crowd was pulled into participating.

now for the winner of the giveaway at french cupboard! from my count, fifteen people registered for the giveaway by leaving comments for their favorite shot in my etsy shop. the winners are: Mishka (Oh, Mishka) and Susan (bear swamp reflections). i'm sending e-mails, but if you ladies happen to see this - will you confirm your choices and size of the print?

i spent a lot of the weekend thinking of a lot of things - things that haven't quite jelled yet, things that have solitified when i haven't wanted that and well, lots and lots of things. have you ever just held stuff close to your heart? it is not that i don't want to share them, i just can't find words to express them. some times the things are just so small and trivial, i think to myself, who gives a rat's behind about it all . . . and things some times so big and scary that i can't breathe. that i wake up in the small wee hours and i can't breathe. the overshare.

everything lately feels forced and difficult - as if i'm walking through three foot pools of jello. disconnected and just weird . . . so weird. i know the cure but then i have panic attacks about that too - will i remember how to work when i get work again? just silly, i know it's silly. my rational, logical, analytical side knows how very silly i am. as we say in my family, coo-coo-cacao puffs. i am sick of thinking about it but i can't stop thinking about it. and yes, i give myself breaks, i think positive...ack. stop. stop. stop.

do i have to give titles?

when i was little my mom had this old black cast iron skillet that she used for absolutely everything - frying chicken, making gravy and even making cakes. in particular, one of my most favorite cakes - pineapple upside down cake. she would make sure that each pineapple ring had a bright red cherry in the middle and because we all loved cherries so much, she would place cherries inbetween the rings too. for the longest time, i thought pineapples always tasted vaguely of aluminum. imagine my surprise years later when i tasted fresh pineapple - the difference is just night and day.

which brings me to this recipe i got from smitten kitchen. if you decide to make it - go through the extra bit of expense and buy fresh pineapple. it's heaven when caramelized.

pineapple upside down cake

topping:
1/2 medium pineapple, peeled, quartered lengthwise, and cored
3/4 stick unsalted butter
3/4 cup packed light brown sugar (i used dark brown since that was on-hand - that's why my caramel is so dark)

batter:
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 stick unsalted butter, softened
1 cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 tablespoon dark rum (i omitted the rum as i didn't have any on hand)
1/2 cup unsweetened pineapple juice

Preheat oven to 350°F. If you do not have a cast iron skillet, you can use a cake pan.

make topping: cut pineapple crosswise into 3/8-inch-thick pieces. Melt butter in skillet. Add brown sugar and simmer over moderate heat, stirring, four minutes. remove from heat. arrange pineapple on top of sugar mixture.

make batter: sift together flour, baking powder, and salt. beat butter in a large bowl with an electric mixer until light and fluffy, then gradually beat in granulated sugar. add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. beat in vanilla and rum. add half of flour mixture and beat on low speed just until blended. beat in pineapple juice, then add remaining flour mixture, beating just until blended. (batter may appear slightly curdled.)

quickie short-cut tip: you can use a butter cake box mix, just substitute pineapple juice for the water in the recipe. duncan hines moist butter cake is a good one.

spoon batter over pineapple topping and spread evenly. bake cake in middle of oven until golden and a tester comes out clean, about 45 minutes. let cake stand in skillet five minutes. invert a plate over skillet and invert cake onto plate (keeping plate and skillet firmly pressed together). replace any pineapple stuck to bottom of skillet. sprinkle rum over cake and cool on plate on a rack.
serve cake just warm or at room temperature.

in other news....i received the cutest handmade birthday card from elk today and it just brightened my day tremendously. thank you my friend - that was the sweetest thing. they say that friends are the family we pick instead of the family we're born with....i'm so proud she picked me.



and yes...the first bite of the cake took me back to summery days of cake, hopscotch, and running through the sprinklers.

ps - i'm guesthosting at laura's today if you want to take a peek.

another year older....

thank you for the birthday wishes yesterday - they were much appreciated and warmed me up. i read so many people with the ambitions for the year and i suppose i should make such a list (since i'm a listmaker) but realize my entire energy lately has been focused on finding employment and keeping myself occupied so i stop the slow slide into complete and utter boredom with my life.

so, these are my lessons from the past year leading into the birthday:

be grateful and cherish what you have because you never know when it all could be snatched from underneath you. i don't know if anyone really realized how dark the employment horizon was. i know that i thought i would be re-employed fairly quickly.

explore the simple. in the downsizing and streamlining of my life, i've found how much i enjoy just the simple things in life. cooking, sewing (new), photography, reading, thrifting... not that i was really fancy before - but i wasted more money than was rational.

love your family and your friends. they will be the support and strength in the tough times. they say things happen for a reason - part of what i've found is how much my family and my friends love me. being on my own in another city, it was easy to feel independent but isolated. what i found is that love knows no distance but going home to love is the most wonderful feeling and was exactly the balm i needed.

rediscover things about yourself. once upon a time i loved to cook for family but i let fall by the wayside when it was not fun to just cook for myself. time now gives me time to challenge myself to cut portions and preparations to enough for two or make enough for family. i have started sewing. i challenged myself to shoot everyday and i think my photography improved as i read and tried new styles. i found that i really love to watch the squirrels scamper and enjoy the comfort of a pretty yard. so my first garden attempts drowned in the rains, there is time to try again.

go out on a limb. i opened an etsy shop and have made respectable sales so far. rome was not built in a day and neither was a business. if not given these months off, i would have never had time for this. i would still be dreaming.

so...those are good starters. now - for this little recipe (super simple).

rose cottage blueberry muffins

2 cups all purpose flour
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 tsp salt
3 tsp baking power
1 large egg
1 cup milk
1/3 cup melted butter
2 cups blueberries (fresh or frozen)

sift together flour, sugar, salt and baking powder in a bowl. in a separate bowl, mix egg, milk and butter. add in dry ingredients, stirring until just blended (batter will be lumpy). add in blueberries (i used blueberries and raspberries). bake at 375 for 25 minutes.

enjoy with your favorite morning beverage - the muffins are not too sweet and the amount of fruit make them burst with moisture and happiness.