the wayback machine

kudos to anyone that knows where the title of this entry originated....alternate title:  my dad was a dude.

this is my dad and his youngest brother, circa late 1960's to early 1970's.  if anyone remembers me telling about his skiing up the slope of the slew, this is the swimsuit he was wearing that day.  he's holding scott (a cousin) who apparently was unhappy about the tightness of the trunks.  please note my dad is wearing shoes - now i know where my baby brother's always wearing shoes thing comes from.  the yellow lifevest is being rocked by bruce (another cousin) and i'm not sure who is standing beside bruce - it's not me...but there is not enough face to tell who it is.

yesterday was my dad's birthday - it's hard to realize how very young he is in this photograph.  isn't that weird to realize about our parents when we see them frozen in time?  look how much fashion has changed - short trunks/tight trunks, his hair, the lifevests...even his loafers.

so many good times on the shores of this lake - so many good times.

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today on my ipod (daddy special) - the house of the rising sun (the animals), we will rock you (queen), walk, don't run (the ventures), jambalaya (hank williams sr.), delta dawn (tanya tucker), 

things my father taught me

 

1.     always carry a pocket knife.  there are envelopes and boxes to be opened, sticks to whittle and many other uses.  i carry my dad's.
2.     going along with #1 - always sure your knives are sharp.  dull knives are dangerous.
3.     home cooked always tastes better than going to to eat.  always.
4.     pancake saturdays (or sundays) are made for fun and memories.  i will never ever forget that my dad would stand there making pancakes until everyone was stuffed to the gills.
5.     peeled apples with a bit of salt make a wonderful snack.  (he could peel an apple in one long strand of peel with his pocketknife)
6.     how to change a tire and where the water and oil go in my car.  even the part about putting the lug nuts back on in a star pattern (if you have five.)
7.     the ability to laugh at myself.  he would do that often - laugh at himself.  plus he had this silly made up language for different things...like doughnuts were called "doorknobs", pancakes were "pam-m-cakes", bananas were "bingbongs".  we laughed a lot.
8.     saying "i love you" was always a good thing - both mom and dad taught me this really.  i love you was said often in our house.
9.     how to hold my temper.  my dad had a terrible temper at times...well, sometimes a lot time but he got more mellow as he was older.  as a result, i learned to be more patient and not to fly off the handle - sort of that reverse thing...but i still attribute this lesson to him.
10.   the best way to approach a problem was head on - my dad didn't tiptoe around something - he did it and asked for apologies later.  sometimes that worked out well and sometimes it didn't.
11.   to mind my own business - he was not a gossip and he was a private man.  he always figured if people wanted him to know something, they would tell him.
12.  to always keep at least a week of vacation and a week of sick leave.  you never know when you may have an emergency or the need to have a break.
13.   never ask someone else to do something you wouldn't do yourself.  it's a matter of respect.
14.   how to appreciate a good piece of science fiction - he loved star trek and i have seen each of the movies and think of him every time.  he also loved james bond and anything with clint eastwood.
15.  never make promises that you couldn't keep - back up your word - your word is your reputation.  if you said something, you better mean it.  he didn't hold with liars, cheats or cowards.

this moment

in this moment the world is perfect. in this moment, the pugs are snoring at my feet. the sun has shown its pretty face and a butterfly is dancing on the wind. in this moment, life has balance and purpose. in this fine, fine, fine moment.

in this moment i'm surrounded by love. my mother's things, my father's handicraft, memories of those who have gone on before us but leave a legacy. in this moment, all possibilities are mine. in this moment i can close my hand around them and hold on so very tight.

in this moment peace has been given to me. and in this moment, i am truly grateful.

. . .

so many thoughts are just scrambled and crammed in my brain tonight. so i will try to go in some kind of order. it's father's day and though i've fought acknowledging that, there is no getting around it. looking at that statement, it makes me think that i'm resenting father's day - i'm not. i loved my father beyond anything really. and i miss him. i look at my nieces and nephews and know in my heart how happy he would be surrounded by them. but ... he was not without his flaws. the thing is, now that he's gone - those flaws really do not matter anymore. the bottom line is that he loved me (and my brothers and sisters) unconditionally. end of sentence.

also, related to this is the book i read this week - the shack. this book has been recommended to me by so many people over the year that i couldn't tell you all who passed on that word. i resisted it ... well, as the aunt of two adorable girls, the unspeakable that happens in this book ... long story short - it effected me as deeply as i expected it too and i spent the majority of the book weeping. which violates my ban on reading books or watching movies that i know will lead to buckets of tears.

anyway - to me the baseline of the book is about unconditional love and how when we judge or put limitations on love, then we put ourselves outside of complete love. it's a difficult concept at times to wrap your head around, but if i think about it - it's how i have deal with the flaws that my father had. and how i loved him in spite of all of the things that happened during his dark time.

wow, that's not the direction i expected this to go; however, it is my belief that love is the thing really. love is the thing.

now, the beach. wow - the weather was gorgeous but the heat was triple digits and this southern flower doesn't like the beach when it's so hot you can't bear it. it seems the past two beach vacations have been at the hottest time of year - is it any wonder my favorite beach time is in october or november? but, i'm not complaining - i'm not. four free days (and nights) at the beach with two of the most beautiful girls in the world - that's living people. plus, amazing photography opportunities.

we were in seaside - a cute, funky little restort town filled with cute bungalows and airstream trailers. the taco bar there had the best shrimp tacos i've ever eaten and i have to figure out how to duplicate them. the strawberry daquiris were also yummy. there were tons of bicycles everywhere. this area also has a number of bog lakes that are filled with gorgeous waterlilies and cat tails. i spent two days trying to find one that i could get close to and hit paydirt on thursday. i think i took 50+ shots of the lotus blooms (which close during the day so you have to catch them early) and waterlilies. so beautiful. and of course - the girls - amazing to spend that much time with them. the baby hates the beach and after the first day refused to go back. ga adored the pool and the beach - totally in her element.

i'll tell you about dinner with the new jersey housewives tomorrow. yes, i'm such a tease.,