Gratitude:: day 5 of 30

my mom was an interesting combination of contradictions, which i think have held over to my wacky set of thoughts. she was both very practical and had this beautiful sense of the magic at the same time. i think that love of magic has manifested itself in my love of the whimsical. a blue balloon skipping down the road becomes a lost friend, kitty cat teapots remind me of alice, sunbeams through clouds are god's smiles....ahhh, the beauty and happiness in whimsy.

today i'm grateful for my sense of whimsy - it allows me to find a bit of joy in my days, even when they seem the very darkest. on gorgeous days like today, it makes me positively giddy to look outside my office window to see a bright cornflower blue sky and think it must be like looking into the eyes of the one you love most. the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.

hope you have a beautiful weekend.

weirdo

it's been one of those weeks where i've been having weird dreams. scattered bits and pieces. some pieces i want to capture in a box and hold on to them - so lovely, so fleeting. like a child, i want to pull them out of the box and let them sparkle in the light. but they dissolve when i hold on too tightly so i'm going to let them float out into the ether and pray they come back to me in reality. other pieces i'm happen to let go and never think of again.



outside my window a white moth flutters and struggles to reach the light within. the glass separates us - so close and yet so very far far away. a picture of my life - when something seems within reach - hopefully the window will open soon.

castles in the air

when i was a younger girl i played on the screened in porch of a second story apartment. the porch was my castle and i was the princess of all i surveyed. my little table held concoctions of cereal mixed with peanut butter and my teacups were filled with cherry koolaid 'tea'. oh how i loved rainy days that perpetuated my illustions of my little island kingdom and even my baby bother (yes, that's how i spelled it back then) couldn't worry me. the siamese cats would weave in and out with their weird meows and crooked eyes. if i was very lucky, i could hear my mother cooking and humming along with the radio.

as i got older, i outgrew that little paradise - my circle of experience widened and soon best friends (forever!) would be invited over for finger sandwiches. we would do crazy things - like handwrite an entire newspaper or open a barber shop in our backyard (don't worry - mom made sure there were no razors in our razors).

still the circle grew and instead of longing for rainy days in a magical solitary kingdom, i prayed for sunny days of catching fireflies and riding my bicycle all over the world. those days are the essence of summer to me...even now, years (and years) later.

today i watched the rain from my little treehouse room. i listened to the pugs snore as i stitched the second row of my pillow top. and i thought of those flickering images in my memories. then the sun came out and light fell across the leaves of the trees. they appeared golden. and i smiled. thankful for both the rain and the sun. because all of those things make up our lives. both can bring comfort - it's just a matter of perspective.