January 10, 2008

on depression

I never really understood it before. Sure I held hands with friends and comforted them. I watched my mother go through a valium addiction in dealing with her depression. I watched friendships break up over depression. But, I always felt like an outsider looking in. Until now.

Now I get it. The tide of anger and sorrow has washed completely over me like a giant wave of black funk. I can cry at the drop of a hat and that damn hat drops every time I turn.

I'm fighting back. I am. Standing at the door with teeth armed and growls bursting through my chest. That is whenever I don't feel like laying prostrate in my bed not wanting to breath because it's too much effort. I haven't felt like talking, smiling or lifting a finger. Turning my head is a bit too much effort.

Therapy is good. It is. But peeling back the layers. That is difficult and consuming.

1 comment:

  1. This is the best descriptions of depression I've ever read.

    But, I think you're doing the right things - recognizing it, going to therapy....

    Unfortunately, it just takes time to heal. Time and a good support system.


i feel as if each comment was between us as we sat and sipped something warm....i love to hear what you're thinking.