i've been a hopeless miss-mash of feelings the last few days. a lot of wheels turning and thinking coupled with abandoned non-thinking and sheer enjoyment. yesterday i visited (with the rest of the family) my brother's lake condo. it has a gorgeous view (this was taken from the balcony). we rode around the lake in the power boat and i'm ever amazed how quickly the girls adapted to their sea legs. there is nothing in the world that makes you feel better than just spending time with people that accept you just as you are - no matter the quirks, and squeezes from your loved ones.
today i went crazy at the grocery - like a sudden nesting urge of an unpregnant woman. i had wild thoughts of making cakes, casseroles and my mother's chicken and dressing. after i put away the groceries - collapsing in a pool of sweat and fatigue, i settled instead for a quick pot of santa fe soup - a good thing because there was an emergency babysitting of the girls. we laughed at the antics of the baby licking peanut butter from crackers and feeding the pugs, the older nieces silly giggles over the joy of one-half a chocolate bar, and the good times of family conversation over soup and impromptu visits.
i'm taking the advice of good friends and i'm giving myself a break over the lack of inspiration with photography. if i pick up the camera great but i'm not going to pressure myself right now to 'shoot every day' as most experts tell us to do. i think that leads to some uninspirational photography for me as i find myself just clicking instead of really trying to 'see'. i have my notes from 'the art of seeing' and maybe this is a good time to revisit some lessons. in the meantime, i have a quilt to finish, a letter that needs a reply, a tea towel to finish and more job applications to make.