a dream within a dream

A spider bit me yesterday while I was sitting at my desk. Today the wound is red and a bit swollen but the skin is not broken. It itches a bit, mostly when my denim jacket brushes against the tender skin of my arm.

I know I'm compulsive - I've told you guys before. So compulsive that I built a database to hold my quotes. Sad, huh? But, I enjoy scrolling through them with little reminders of joy and peace. There a few depressing ones in there...but mostly they are ones that make me smile in some little way.

Every Wednesday I drive the same route to work that I drive most days (unless I have a craving for a Burger King croissant). There at the fountain are the war protesters mingled in the midst of the homeless people lined up for morning coffee and doughnuts at the church. I wonder about the protesters. There are four. The same ones each week with the same signs. Why only on Wednesday? Why only four?

At 4:30 every morning I wake-up with an urgency to pee - you could set your alarm by it. It's so weird and I wonder what Jung would make of it...but then, he's also the one that said "sometimes a dream is just a dream." I was remembering dreams for a while but I'm back in that cycle where I don't remember them. I'm not sure what that means.

I sit here in the quiet at work. All I can hear is the click of my keyboard as I write this jumble of words. There is a hum of the air conditioning clicking on and in the distant background I can hear a soft murmur of voices, speaker phones, and footsteps down the hall. The loud talker is out of the office today and my boss and I are the only ones in the office on my hallway. Its soothing in some ways - almost zen. My mind roams and sometimes trips. How is it that I work better with lots of noise than with little?

I find myself wanting to fill this white space and I sit and stare at it for a while. Close it and then I come back again...wanting to share. Sort of like wanting to clean my place - I stare and get so overwhelmed with all the things to be done that I can't face it. So I leave. And I go shoot some and come back. Still not clean.

And this is still not written.

In the meantime -

good times

I will go on record to say that Lyle Lovett and John Hiatt were freaking amazing tonight. Shots from a point and shot sneakily done do not do them justice so I will not bother you with them. But, wow - if you have a chance to see them together - run and get your tickets.

It reminded me of the old VH-1 Crossroads before the show became too self aware. Two regular guys with their guitars riffing off random bits of conversation and ideas. It was like sitting on the front porch with them while they went through their song catelog. Lyle Lovett is so dead pan and funny that my jaws ache from laughing and smiling. His brand of smart assed humor in his songs cracks me up and then he can turn around and make you cry. And John Hiatt - amazing guitar player and, who, who can resist "Have a Little Faith in Me?"

wow....a great show. And this is what I did last night.

tiny things

I thought this was a bad week, but it's not really. Though I've itched and bitched my way through the week, it was mostly a light load. And now it's Friday and I'm soothed and smiling. In the grand scheme of things - it's not the big moments that make me glad, it's the tiny, small, delicate ones that really make me peaceful and joyful.

As I sat in Samford's parking lot talking on the phone with a friend, I watched two chimpmunks playing among the cars. Scampering up and down the pine straw coated slope and pausing to watch cars go by. I'm a city girl but at least nature visits me from time to time and I laughed.

I forgot - no class last night - after I left work early to grab that parking space. Of course, if I had remembered I would have missed the chimpmunks cavorting for me. I used the time wisely to go to the bookstore and stock up on reading. As I was driving, I noticed it was one of the most glorious sunsets I've seen in Birmingham. All pink and lavender and the sun was this huge orange blob swimming in the layers of backlit clouds. I witnessed it bobbing in the sea before it sunk below the buildings and wires. Gorgeous.

Maybe it was luck that I couldn't find a place to pull over and shoot the sunset. Maybe I was just meant to relax and enjoy the colors. Maybe, we all have to do that sometimes. Relax and watch the sunset. Let the small wash over you.

And tomorrow, well tomorrow is a special treat for me. I have 4th row tickets to see Lyle Lovett and John Hiatt. I've read great things about this tour and they self describe it as "Tommy and Dick Smothers" touring where they sit with their instruments, talk and sing. Heaven. And...blues and barbeque in the courtyard before hand. The only sadness I can think of is that no cameras are allowed. I can understand that. But I think these two men have the most interesting faces and what I would do to just be able to take some shots of them? I'm not quite sure.

It will be a good weekend.

itchy

I'm practically covered in mosquito bites and it sucks (see image at left for part of the explanation). That is all really...

otherwise, today was decent. And...I've adopted the Wicked Witch of the West as my office mascot. I think it works personally.

**UPDATE** To make the day even better...

My sister called me on the way to work this morning - this is an going conversation this week as her blackberry is dying on the worst week ever. Last night I called her at 10:30 to see if she needs a wake-up call this morning (she gets up at 5:30 a.m. - ungodly) but she purchased an alarm clock so we were set. My phone rings, "suspicious minds" by Elvis - *shrugs* and I frantically dig through my purse while driving one-handed through morning traffic, running 5 minutes late for work. Of course, I don't find it before the voice mail picks up. I finish digging, cursing and sputtering. As she picks up, I yell, "I HATE THIS FUCKING PURSE, I never can find anything in the bottom the fucker." About that time I notice....and I hear her say, "You're on speaker phone and Jake's in the car." *groan*

Maybe it upped my cool factor? And of course they were laughing at me because she called to report gasoline is down this morning....yeah, it's my OCD tribute to mom - I obsess over gas prices. Did you know it's down almost 20 cents?

And I still itch.