July 14, 2010
thoughts of particular insignifcance on a hot summer day
or driven the car for miles and miles just listening to the radio or the road noise. pausing from time to time to smile or point out something interesting or beautiful outside the window (see that cloud smiling at you?).
or ridden your bike to the top of a hill and then let yourself fly back down without a thought except the sense of freedom, wonder and happiness that flowed through your body like the wind through your hair (it tastes like summer, sunshine and clover).
there is a beauty in the silence...listening to the heartbeat of the world in the ambient noises that surround me. the murmurs of the voices in the hallway. and i worry sometimes that i enjoy those more than i enjoy the conversation (but i don't really.) that i'm more comfortable alone than with others (letting myself feel like an outsider.) and i can't always find the energy to talk about something silly...or even something serious...
and then there are days where i throw off all of these doubts and thoughts (goodbye gray lady) .... and feel the heartbeat of the earth in my chest - bursting to run, fast, fast...and faster still. collapsing in a heap at the end of the day because it was all so very much life (tingling, fizzing, crackling). colors...noises...people...things...places...whirling, whizzing and inviting. electrifying energy - fascinating pieces of the puzzle to put together.
surely there is some kind of middle ground (isn't there?)
scribbled by Char