June 9, 2010

hints, allegations and things left unsaid

yesterday was just one of those crap days.  you know the kind.  i felt bad, i didn't sleep the night before (due to horrible, dark, scary nightmares) and i sat through four brain-numbing, nothing solved meetings.  in addition, a friend got on my case about something i really needed to hear.  as i didn't get much sleep, it seemed i was incrediably weepy about all sorts of things - sensitive, like a sore tooth on a grouchy old bear.  my poor, sweet brother even took me to dinner to listen to me whine.  somehow over a burger at the local steak joint, the tides began to turn and it got better.  i pulled on my big girl panties and kicked my rear in gear...of course with a big of hand holding and shoulder hugging...

sometimes i have to remind myself that the monsters we create in our heads are never quite as scary as we make them.  and the monsters that we do really encounter can be battled with the right weapons.  it seems when i'm really tired that i forget those facts. 

do you do that?  know the way but meander off the path from time to time?  right?  human nature. 

i'm happy to report after going to bed promptly at 10:00 and getting a full night sleep, i feel much better (if the eyes are a bit puffy.)  no nightmares...no dreams that i can remember...just eight solid hours of sleep.  it's good for the soul. 

i must confess...i've adopted a new baby and eagerly await it's arrival.  soon i will be kicking it old school - so as you wait for the official "birth annoucement"...i'll be taking bets as to what it is?  what's your guess?


  1. ohmigosh - strawberries in a green ball jar? spectacular!

    sorry to hear you had such terrible nightmares - i hate those kinds of nights.

    ooohh...surprises! i've got no idea what it is...old school, eh? an old school film camera, maybe?

    my new baby should arrive today...but you already know what it is ;) !

  2. Fatigue seems to really heighten emotions and feelings. A good night's sleep always does wonders to put things in perspective.

    I have no idea what you're adopting ... hm, kicking it old school? I feel like there's a clue in that line, but can't find it. Anxiously awaiting ...

  3. i'm glad you're feeling better...i really am !
    and now you big tease....i have no idea what baby you're talking about, but can't wait to find out....have you picked out names ?

  4. I think maybe it is a new pug, or a new camera. Char when I get tired, which is a lot how quickly I can become my own worst enemy. I can turn a little thing into a mountain....but then I have a good sleep and all is forgotten, or somehow it just does not matter any more. hope your days ahead are filled with restful sleeps and pleasant dreams.

  5. I always have a break down when I get too tired! It is hard to take life in stride when you're out of fuel. Glad you got a good nights sleep.

    ps...I've been prone to nightmares all my life....HATE THEM!

  6. I know that feeling...and I can't stand it. My brain pretty much just stops using any kind of logic and everything is bad and overwhelming and it takes a lot of work to convince me otherwise. Yay for human nature.

    My guess is a Polaroid Land camera. :) That's how you kick it old school.

  7. That overwhelming sense of tiredness,loss of control and sadness can make us crazy, especially when we aren't normally like that. Thank goodness it doesn't last. You expressed your feelings well. Isn't it beautiful to have support and love along the way? You are blessed. Congratulations on becoming a new parent!

  8. Ohhh Char...fatigue will do it to you for sure. It takes the smallest thing and makes it seem insurmountable. It takes us on mind journey's when we'd brefer to stay home. I'm so glad you've regrounded and have found your solid center again.

    Have fun birthing that new baby! (I'm leaning towards an old camera too.)

  9. Umm sleepless nights are hell! When things get out of hand I try and imagine how things will be in a couple of months and if I'll look back and laugh.... really.
    New baby.. old school... is it a record player?

  10. New baby ~ old school ~ a vintage film camera perhaps?
    I get this way sometimes, too and I do not envy you those terrible nightmares coupled with the mind-numbingly useless meetings. Glad to hear you're feeling more chipper today. And also glad to hear again what a wonderful brother you have!

  11. glad you are feeling better! sometimes it just helps if someone will listen to you when things are tough! so glad your brother is such a sweetie!

    and i am guessing your new baby is a camera. or another pug? :)

    and thank you so much for your comment -- i really appreciate it. :)

  12. sleep (and a good nights sleep) is a miracle cure, i am convinced of that... that and someone tall standing in your corner who's got your back

  13. Oh yes, I've been going through a bout of insomnia lately, and things always seem so scary and overwhelming at 3 am. So glad to hear you got a good night's sleep -- everything looks better with eight hours under your belt.

    As for the birth announcement... an old film camera? Can't wait to hear! Oh, and I love your header!!!

  14. thanks y'all on the compliments on the new blog header. i will be switching things up a bit in the coming days. still striving for simplicity but, just the summer changes coming through.

    and yes...most of you have guessed correctly. it is a camera (or two)...and yes, it's film. as soon as it (or they) arrive, i will share.

    plus...i signed up for a photography class back at my old samford. i'm so excited.

  15. Im pleased you had a good nights sleep and hope everything starts turning around for you x
    and yah! how exciting about the new camera (or two!)

  16. I was guessing a vintage camera. :)

    I am feeling like you were feeling. I actually blogged about it just before I headed over here and read your blog. Could it be the overcast weather???


  17. I was going to guess 35mm/126mm film camera....

    Try kicking at those nightmares...a new school karate kick is good!

  18. I was in a similar headspace last week - just down in the dumps, but it really is possible to turn your mood around. Glad you did!
    Hmm.. as for your new baby.. something from etsy?

  19. I am hte world master at creating monsters in my head that are far worse than they are in reality. It's silly, but I think of the Golden Book "There's a Monster at the end of This Book." and it helps to put things into perspective. Sometimes those childhood things stick with us.

    xo Erin

  20. So sorry you haven't been sleeping well Char...sounds like you have an incredibly supportive brother...Glad things have improved...

    I'm going to guess a Duraflex and/or a Polaroid SX-70...oh wait, maybe that is MY wishlist:)

    And tell us more about your class...what kind...what focus?

  21. a new member of the family...for real? well a big ole yay for that!!! and yes i have had those days myself 'specially since i don't sleep like i used to. everything is a big deal when you are tired or feeling overwhelmed.

  22. a day like that is many times helped by a full nights rest...glad the "baby" is a camera ...i will eagerly await your work!!

  23. i've had dreams like that, that stay with you through the new day. moving, at least. hope you are feeling better! can't wait to see your 'baby's art! :)

  24. Glad a good night's rest made the world look a little brighter, Char.

    Ha! I cheated and looked on FB first. Get lots of "diapers" stocked up for your new baby!


i feel as if each comment was between us as we sat and sipped something warm....i love to hear what you're thinking.