. . . .

tree at the shakespeare festival garden



chilton county peaches



third generation



swamp



schoolhouse rots

new projects

tomorrow i go where i haven't gone in quite a while . . . a needle project. *nervous laugh* i have friends that quilt and have fancy sewing machines. did i confess yet that my mom's best friend 'rescued' my ninth grade home ec fashion show entry so i didn't embarrass myself? yeah. she did. i'm hopeless with sewing machines. oh yes, i was the cross stitch demon back in the day - until i burned myself out. and i needle pointed a pillow while mom was sick - haven't been able to pick it back up. and when i was very young, my grandmother taught me how to embroider on pillow cases and table runners (oh to have those back).

oops - sorry, i'm giving myself a pep talk. i'm joining modern day pioneers' quilting project tomorrow. i know dani is joining in too - any other takers?

because i don't have a machine, she has suggested that i use felt to make handstitching a bit easier. i've picked brown and two shades of blue (to go in my bedroom). keep your fingers crossed for me. i promise to document my progress as i go along.

also, i joined another project - artful penpals. this project, headed by shelagh to bring back the art of letter writing. i mailed off my letter to sara (my penpal) yesterday! shelagh also has a bright and fun etsy shop if you want to check her out.

i feel all crafty today.

what cha doin'?

it is always weird to be up early on a saturday morning, but i knew this would happen when i fell asleep watching the sex and the city movie last night. even the puppies were sleepy early.

i'm excited - i'm starting a quilting challenge on monday and i've never made a quilt before. plus, i'm handsewing the thing as i don't have a sewing machine. don't get all excited, it's just a pillow top and i'm doing it in felt. i have all these big ideas in my head, but i'm afraid it will look like a poor little charlie brown quilt. all lopsided and stuff.

oh yeah...i did promise the story about the new jersey-quese housewives next to us at dinner last week. it all seems so anti-climatic now, just like the finale of the real housewives (just was it that danielle tried to do to dina - puncture the bubbies, whack her, what?). you know it has to be good or big bad caroline would have sicced the puppy on her, right? but...i have wondered away from the subject.

one of my pet peeves is to be in a nice restaurant and the table is so obnoxious and rude that you can't enjoy your food. i mean, it's one thing if you're in a family place that is meant for that, but if i'm (well, my brother) is paying over $20 a plate - it's not mcd's. you know? there were two women, obviously wearing 'bump-its' and side ponys that they must have gotten theirs that very morning. they had nice bottles of wine (which they were loaded on) and at least six children between them. the children ranged from 10ish to 3ish...while momma sat there and complained (loudly) how horny she was. geesh - do people even use that word anymore after the 12th grade or freshman year? the children consumed piles of expensive sushi and mommas drank more wine as the conversation stumbled on to firm butts when the one told the other what her trainer said about her firm butt. then the picture taking commenced. flashes going off in our eyes as we tried to wait for our meals (of course the restaurant was slow - they had to go catch the fish theirselves, right?). not fun. just not fun. all part of my theory how the world is going to pot because no one seems to care about anyone much anymore. (not you - no....but people as a whole and in public) i mean, come on, have dignity much? uhmmmm, no.

see, much funnier when it was happening than the retelling. well, that and i suck at stories sometimes. i just checked yard sales since my thrify friends always find such good stuff. maybe since i'm up early i can check out a couple. and go to the farmer's market. i'm hungry for some fresh corn - i wonder if i could convince my brother to put on the grill for some roasted corn?

it occurs to me

after reading another blogger's twitter about an e-mail she received, that i do not say thank you enough. that's how i am in real time too - i say thank you all the time . . . to waitresses, shop keepers, people i meet on the street . . . it is the way i was raised. so why wouldn't i say thank you more to the people that bother to come by? silly me.

i appreciate the time that you take out of the day for me. you lift my spirits (yes, you over there in the corner being quiet too) and help prop my chin up when it's sinking. you make me laugh and smile. you flatter a girl and boost her self esteem when she's not feeling very confident. you hold my hand and cry a bit with me now and again. i hope i never take that for grated and as a matter of fact.

so thank you from the bottom of my heart. and if i forget to tell you that often enough - kick my butt now and again. because, falling off a high horse can break a tail bone and i don't have cobra. now, excuse me while i go get dressed and out of this house (yes, even in this heat) as i've just taken photographs of lunch again today. though it was very yummy (homemade chicken salad, crackers and fruit), i think i need further inspiration.

happy clicking

the sounds of the silence

i couldn't tell you much i did during the day today. washed some clothes, unpacked suitcases, puttered - you know. but i did it in silence today. i didn't speak one work really (except to the cat as i fed him). the television was quiet and the only sounds were of the air conditioning or of the washing machine knocking about. occasionally i could hear a dog snoring or the hum of the window unit in my brother's room as he slept.

it was peaceful. i was alone with my thoughts - that loosening of the skin of my mind. i didn't think of deep issues. actually i didn't think of much. i prepared a simple lunch of sliced homegrown cucumbers, paired with sliced ham, red grapes, strawberries, brie and a roll. in the quiet, my tongue experienced the beauty of the tastes. the cucumber was bitter and needed a bit of salt. the ham was pink and tasted both sweet and salty in my mouth. the grapes were sweet and the strawberries dripped lush juice down my chin. the cheese was soft as i spread it on the bread. i should have lunches like this more often.

the tiny roses were soft and lush and though i can't catch much of a scent from them, they made me happy sitting in the sun. amazing what three dollars can buy now and again. the black and white stray cat lies curled in the freshly cut grass. his body a question mark and watching him makes me sleepy too.

later this evening, sounds re-enter my world - the dogs barking, the television on the evening news, the sizzle of dinner cooking. the light has shifted from a blazing torch to a soft pinkish-gold. i'm puzzled by the squirrel's antics in the oak tree as i watch him cut small leafy branches and carry them to my favorite branch. i suspect he is really a she and she's preparing a nest. of course she chatters when some of the branches drift down. this is enough to entertain me.

simplicity

there is something so sweet and simple about a baby. the way they accept the world and trust there is someone to catch them. would that i could go back to this simple trust and love. it's when we put limitations on ourselves that so many doors and windows slam shut. it's when we are judgemental that we cannot let ourselves go and be who we want to be instead of who we seem to be. or is that just me? maybe it is me. there are days i sit and watch - people seem so comfortable in their skin. mine feels tight and confining on tuesdays but perhaps by wednesday it loosens back up when i have a good talking to myself.

mosaic monday - beachy style

one of the things i learned about this section of the beach is the gorgeous dunes that build through the dual action of wind and waves. since the area has more houses and less access to public beaches, the dunes are preserved better. it gives the feeling of wildness and freedom to look out on the dunes.

please visit mary to participate in her hosting of mosaic monday if you would love to see other beautiful compilations. now i need to dig my macro lens out to get back in on georgia's goodness with macro monday. all these alliterative mmmmmmmmmmms .... could it be contagious?

. . .

so many thoughts are just scrambled and crammed in my brain tonight. so i will try to go in some kind of order. it's father's day and though i've fought acknowledging that, there is no getting around it. looking at that statement, it makes me think that i'm resenting father's day - i'm not. i loved my father beyond anything really. and i miss him. i look at my nieces and nephews and know in my heart how happy he would be surrounded by them. but ... he was not without his flaws. the thing is, now that he's gone - those flaws really do not matter anymore. the bottom line is that he loved me (and my brothers and sisters) unconditionally. end of sentence.

also, related to this is the book i read this week - the shack. this book has been recommended to me by so many people over the year that i couldn't tell you all who passed on that word. i resisted it ... well, as the aunt of two adorable girls, the unspeakable that happens in this book ... long story short - it effected me as deeply as i expected it too and i spent the majority of the book weeping. which violates my ban on reading books or watching movies that i know will lead to buckets of tears.

anyway - to me the baseline of the book is about unconditional love and how when we judge or put limitations on love, then we put ourselves outside of complete love. it's a difficult concept at times to wrap your head around, but if i think about it - it's how i have deal with the flaws that my father had. and how i loved him in spite of all of the things that happened during his dark time.

wow, that's not the direction i expected this to go; however, it is my belief that love is the thing really. love is the thing.

now, the beach. wow - the weather was gorgeous but the heat was triple digits and this southern flower doesn't like the beach when it's so hot you can't bear it. it seems the past two beach vacations have been at the hottest time of year - is it any wonder my favorite beach time is in october or november? but, i'm not complaining - i'm not. four free days (and nights) at the beach with two of the most beautiful girls in the world - that's living people. plus, amazing photography opportunities.

we were in seaside - a cute, funky little restort town filled with cute bungalows and airstream trailers. the taco bar there had the best shrimp tacos i've ever eaten and i have to figure out how to duplicate them. the strawberry daquiris were also yummy. there were tons of bicycles everywhere. this area also has a number of bog lakes that are filled with gorgeous waterlilies and cat tails. i spent two days trying to find one that i could get close to and hit paydirt on thursday. i think i took 50+ shots of the lotus blooms (which close during the day so you have to catch them early) and waterlilies. so beautiful. and of course - the girls - amazing to spend that much time with them. the baby hates the beach and after the first day refused to go back. ga adored the pool and the beach - totally in her element.

i'll tell you about dinner with the new jersey housewives tomorrow. yes, i'm such a tease.,

hints

there will be more...i promise but right now i have to make supper.

i'm home

and have 400+ shots, mostly of the girls (surprise, surprise). the heat index was triple digits (110 today) so, i did not spend much time out on the sand. but... i'm excited about a few shots. more to share over the weekend.

and...it looks like i have a lot of blogs to catch up with and people to see. can't wait until i see what you all have been doing.

golden

i'm leaving for the beach and will be away from the computer for a couple of days. both cameras are traveling with me (yes, i've revived the 400d [aka: rebel] and it is going back to the beach as a back-up). hopefully i will have lots to show you by the weekend.

may your days be golden and full of love, may your nights be a cool breeze that kisses your face with serenity.

thank you for a beautiful day.

mmmmm, shrimp

the shots that were published in the brochure last week for those that asked. i've tired taking shots of the brochure, but the paper is so slick (good for advertising) that it doesn't read well so i will wait for the pdf to show you the final product. since the brochure is for a living and shopping development, these shots were to promote individual stores and the restaurant. i learned a lot from this experience and would love to do this again as there are so many additional things i would do.



saturday, i went back to sit with both girls to help get them packed for the beach (i didn't get to go to the beach as planned but will go later this week). they were adorable and funny and so very excited. the afternoon was lazy and slow and all that a rainy saturday should be. although i will say, we have a small pug herd at home as we're babysitting petunia (my other brother's pug) in addition to our two, moses (mo) and lizzie. so cute to watch the little herd gallop to the food dishes and out the front door.



of course, mo and lizzie are always camera ready but petunia hasn't mastered posing yet. give her a couple more days. she's also not really into commands but with her little head resting on my foot or looking up at me begging, i'm willing to overlook a lot. can you imagine how difficult it is to get all three pugs looking at you at the exact same time? yeah...that hard times three. (here is some mosaic monday linky love for my friend, mary.)

and finally, in honor of the true blood season premiere tonight - i made shrimp and grits. it is a recipe from a charleston restaurant but i think it needs a few tweaks before it's camera ready...plus, i'm a really messy cook. hahahahaha and..i so did not have the timing down. but, overall, the recipe was voted a keeper. here are the tweaks i'm planning. the amount of cheese for the grits was rather vague - in my case, i used eight ounces - too much. the grits were too rich and too thick. also, i think next time i will use skim milk instead of whole milk (i didn't say the dish was figure friendly did i?). now, the changes i made, sort of involuntarily: i used dried garlic as i couldn't find the jarred minced garlic at teh market where i buy my wild shrimp. also, i made the mistake of not checking bacon before i went to the market and only had two slices left. so i added some olive oil to the recipe.

hominy grill's shrimp and grits (copied from southern living may 2009)
2 lbs raw, unpeeled shrimp - medium
2 tbsp all-purpose flour
5 bacon slices
1 package sliced fresh mushrooms
3 garlic cloves, minced
1/3 cup fresh lemon juice
1/2 cups thinly sliced green onions
2 tsp hot sauce
cooked grits (recipe follows)

peel and devein shrimp. toss shrimp with flour until lightly coated, shaking to remove excess. cook bacon in a medium skillet over medium-high heat until crisp. remove bacon and drain on paper towel, reserving drippings in skillet. saute mushrooms in hot dripings four minutes (until mushrooms begin to release their liquid). add shrimp and saute three minutes (until they turn pink). add garlic and saute one minute (do not brown garlic). add lemon juice, onions and hot sauce. serve immediately over grits. sprinkle with crumbled bacon.

creamy cheddar cheese grits
4 tbsp butter
5 cups milk
2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp hot sauce
1 garlic clove, pressed
1 1/2 cups uncooked stone-ground white grits (i used the old fashioned kind instead)
1 block sharp white cheddar, grated

bring two tablespoons butter, milk, salt, hot sauce, garlic and five cups water to a boil in a medium size dutch over over medium-high heat. gradually whisk in grits and bring to a boil again. reduce heat to medium-low and simmer, stirring occasionally, one and one-half hours or until thickened. stir in cheese and remaining two tablespoons butter until melted. serve immediately.

for dessert: i took the blueberries and blackberries (well, the remaining blackberries) and put them in a boiler, added some water and a lot of sugar and made homemake blueberry compote. too much water, so it was really more like a syrup. bought a pound cake and served the blueberries over the cake and topped with a whipped topping. very yummy.

i'm such a domestic diva. hahaha...or not. as i say, my timing is still off but who cares. the food was good, the company enjoyed the dish and we had a warm and cozy evening with the vampires.

loves, thank yous and fridays...

i love these teensy tiny itty bitty mums. they were cast aside in a bargin bin for two dollars so i rescued them and put them in two of my tiny little bottles. now they sit, purply pink with big yellow eyes, and bask in the window sill light - laughing even now as i snap photograph after photograph.

i love the cup, a la homer laughlin. i got it before i knew who homer laughlin is (or was). a gift from a family friend who thought a tea cup was a tea cup and it looks like a country bumpkin when gathered with its fine bone china cupboard mates. but it's strong and warm. scratched and stained with someone's love of tea and i've made the circle back to it, realizing the bone china is sometimes cold and distant.

i love the blackberries. fresh picked by warm hands yesterday morning - waiting to be eaten in the morning sun this morning. the sweet and tart on my tongue bursting open. memories of railroad tracks, sticky fingers and mostly empty plastic pink pails - somehow we never had enough for cobbler ... just like today.



i saw the newletter tonight. i counted, 21 shots used. i saw my name in print and ran my finger back and forth across the letters - muted and small. it feels really real and i feel both large and small at the same time. i find myself turning the pages in wonder. i know that this is old hat to a lot of people but it's fragile and new to me. i feel like a girl in mommy's high heels - playing at being a grownup. so, thank you thank you thank you thank you for all of your kind comments. i will try to get it scanned and show you a copy of what they used...or at least my favorite page. and my sweet brother, tonight when i was showing him, he said, 'i could tell those were yours - that's your style.' eep.

okay before i go on and on in a fashion that i dislike, i'll change the subject. tomorrow i will spend the day with my darling em-me (well, her initials are m.e. but that looks weird). i can't wait for the cuddles. and then miss ga will be home in the evening so we can watch the latest installation of olivia together. i will miss you all - have a beautiful, beautiful day. xo

the password is "blueberries"

it's one of those days where i feel utterly useless and lazy. i've been running like a wild woman over the past two days so, before i dash off to the grocery i'm taking the morning to relax while watching the top chef reruns on bravo. i'm excited about the masters premiere tonight as i can't wait for all the giant egos to clash.

i'm hoping to go to the beach this weekend and i'm over the moon about it. there is something so healing about sitting on the beach at night, watching the waves and hearing the faint chatter of the world far, far, far away. the wind blows and the salty tang rests on your lips. i admit it - i'm a water baby. pool, lake, ocean - all of it. i feel refilled, refreshed and rejuvenated.

last night was the farmer's market again - beautiful produce, fresh picked that morning and brought in along with unique finds, such as tupelo honey or fresh goat cheese. the boys went crazy over the honey and we cracked it open at the farmhouse kitchen over the warm buttermilk cornbread, heaven!!! i can say that i have now tasted the culinary odditity of a deep fried steakburger and found it....odd. it wasn't bad - it was just different and nothing i would seek out again. give me back the chicken and waffles.



i read so much these days about being present in the moment and how it will bring you clarity and joy. well, it also seems like so much pop psychology - but it works at times for me. i love being present in the moment as tasting the honey on the cornbread, that pop of a fresh blueberry in your mouth, having a sweet puppy lick your hand, the exhaling of relief when you receive good news, and so many more of those moments. i stack those moments up like little bubbles of happiness to tide me over in the moments where i'm present and it hurts. and though i can't always recall the moments at those times, i pull out the basket whenever i can breathe again. those bad moments are all about the lessons aren't they? what can you learn from them? i'm constantly reminded of that these days. just when you think you're smart enough.

so on to fun things....i hope you've met my friend, mary. she has several blogs that i love but one of my favorites is 'little red house' - a decorating blog where my favorite features is her thrift store and estate sale finds. she always finds the best stuff and i'm totally jealous at her mad skills in the finds. she is celebrating her 500th blog by giving away a silver-plated tea service (click here). check it out and maybe you'll win. (of courses, if you do i'll be totally jealous and slightly pissy - but totally happy for you. totally - i swear.)

i'm teaming up with fifi to do a giveaway on a new blog that she is part of - french cupboard. part of that will be a photo giveaway from my etsy shop (where there are several new items). i will update you all when i know all the details.

for those that have remarked on my new summer banner, it was designed by my friend, lecia (simply blogged). she's totally rad and lives in alaska (i almost typed 'cool' but caught myself.)

now the details about the past two days - i was asked by my sister's company to do a photoshoot of their retail space in the cloverdale area of montgomery. there is a wine celebration going on thursday and a newsletter describing the development will include photography by me! published with a by-line. also, i signed the paperwork for the hampton inn that is opening in november 2009 in the leeds, alabama (near the barber motorsports park) - dr. mcdreamy could see my work the next time he's in town! hahahahaha

out takes

out takes from today and yesterday's shoots...more about it when details can be shared. and, in case you were wondering...summer has arrived with a vengence in montgomery. afternoon temperatures were in the mid-90s as i was shooting outside. i have to remember to order my nd filters pronto!

and, the worry that i was worrying - i got a bit of good news today. approximately ten days ago, a mass popped up on my 18 month old niece's sternum. given my family's history, of course we all thought the worse. after some preliminary tests, we're told it's not cancerous. it is fiberous and there will be more testing to see what exactly is going on. i will keep you all updated. thank you all so much for positive thoughts, prayers and uplifting e-mails/telephone calls.

hope your day was filled with beautiful things and happy thoughts.

you know what's weird?

going on one of your first 'official' assignments and getting hot from being out in the sun shooting....so you walk next door to a diner to get a drink of water - you know, to stave off that womanly glow. and you go through line and decide that maybe a bite of mac and cheese would be nice since it's homemade and all that. and you sit down and wonder to yourself, 'mmmmm, i wonder if there are napkins at that counter.' and you look around this guy blocking you, smack dab into the face of your ex-husband. yeah, him. the one that ran away with a ballet dancer.

well, not so much as ran away but....i'm going to stick with that because it was like 16 years ago and it's all water under the bridge really.

and you lock eyes and probably both wonder - 'is he/she going to acknowledge me' and then you both look away. he continues to talk to the blocker and i open my cell to call a lifeline so i don't have to stare at him. and you think, 'is ten minutes long enough to show i don't care but not long enough to have a total panic attack because i don't look amazing?' nah, probably not...but that is all i could take.

and you realize...going back home to a small town....it is really a small town. and after you tell at least three to four female friends what happened and they all agree it that i handled it well and they would have done the same thing - you laugh at yourself. and you thank god that your sister reminded you that your root needed retouching last night and you did what she told you. and you laugh at his steel gray head of hair....but you curse his ability to stay so very slim.

and you think, well - that's out of the way now. totally weird, right?

Macro Monday/Mosaic Monday (a two-fer)

sorry...my head has been other places and i haven't been able to shoot more than the strawberries i've been having all weekend. hope you had a beautiful weekend and i look forward to catching up with you tonight.

micro "plump" (strawberries overwhelm the demitasse cup)

playing along with georgia and the other macro monday people.

mosaic "strawberries"


check out Mary's blog for more of this fun group.

~~~

nothing much to say today - i have a great worry that has my mind clouded and burdened that i'm not quite ready to share with the world at large. positive thoughts and prayers are welcomed and appreciated.

so, i will leave you with one of my favorite go to poems when i'm blue....by cooper edens.

If the world is crashing, wear islands for bumpers
If the sky is falling, use the clouds to cushion your fall
Everything doesn’t have to be a catastrophe
It doesn’t all have to be taken to heart,
Unless you open the heart with love.
If the end of the rope is near, untie the knot and leap
You might be surprised at your ability to land.

Sometimes holding on is the worse thing we can do.
The edges we hold, cut and sting.
Tip over the carton and take a bath,
Open the box and take delight in the present,
Make a hat from the wrappings.
You cannot save it for that rainy day.

If you live in fear of no happy ending,
The book might turn out the way you expected.
Take up the pen and write your own story.
Maybe add a dragon, a knight or something
Just for you.

In the deepest dark of your night,
When you’re afraid to open your eyes.
Try to dream of adding a comet to light your way,
Or an extra star in your constellation.

why i love words...or what happened on the way to the playground

1:: i didn’t always like reading. i had difficulty learning to read because i was so shy. if asked to read aloud in my reading group, i would stammer and stumble across words. as children laughed and pointed I would retreat further in my shell. i had difficulty spelling because of performance anxiety and those stupid friday spelling tests. if relaxed at home, i could spell all day long but under test conditions i would fold. finally my mom bought a scrabble game in desperation do i could learn to spell under pressure conditions. her trick worked. she never eased up on me and it was always my goal to finally beat her. that didn’t happen until high school.

2:: i was sick a lot as a child. always with strep throat or some other sickness and stayed in bed a lot during winter. as a treat my father would bring home treats to cheer me up. he loved comic books and started me off on the donald Duck or the like until i built up to archie or the marvel comics he adored. later, he would bring me nancy drew, donna parker or hardy boys. i would curl up with those books along with the orange sherbet and ginger ale concoctions they would make me to soothe my throat. i still devour books in bed and this is one of my favorite comfort things to do.

3:: my competitive streak finally kicked in about fourth grade when i discovered i got along better if i didn’t duck and shy away. i would show the other kids i was a good reader too. i had a wonderful teacher that year who let us build construction paper chains by the number of books we read. i was focused on having the longest chain in the class. we could also get extra points by bringing food that represented our books or some other “project”. it was a way to lose ourselves in books. i lived to be Jo March during those days. well, jo or madam curie. But i didn’t like that whole dying thing about curie but i did love that she discovered something so amazing.

4:: reading bailed me out of a lot of tests and homework. i have a pretty good memory and i rarely studied for tests. instead i would read all of the material the night before the test and do good enough to pass. this worked until i went to college and found out the the system up was mucked up and more difficult than memorization. i actually had to learn to study and that sucked.

5:: reading and words transported me away from some very bad times. i grew up in a household with a terminally ill child, an largely absent father (he worked from dawn to dusk) and a mother too distracted by a sick child and other children. i could go to my room, get a book and put on my headphones and be anywhere else in the world. i actually learned more about sex from books than from my mother. her version of the birds and bees was basically, “you will bleed, men expect sex, you will get pregnant”. yeah. one day, walking with some friends we found a old tattered copy of “sweet savage love” by rosemary rogers (yes, i remember the title to this day). we were 12 and it was hot. it described sex in romantic, tawdry, sexual, dirty, steamy ways. we sat in our hideout and read passages. we underlined and passed the book around. we giggled and snickered. it was great until my mom found the book and threw it away after lecturing me about how disgusting it was. (funny after finding her stash of 'true confessions' under her bed.)

6:: my grandmother lived in philly and we didn’t get to see her but once or twice a year. she believed in mailing magazine subscriptions and then i got the youth version of reader’s digest condensed books. it wasn’t until a few years later i realized how condensed the books really were and enjoyed getting to read the full version.

7:: i learned that words earned a person respect. that if you spoke well and could articulate your thoughts, people listened. i felt i was mostly invisible in grade school, so this was a powerful new tool. i revealed in it. i love debate and discussion. i love taking the devil’s advocate position. i could stay up all night discussing issues and listening to all of the sides.

8:: i daydreamed about writing the “great american novel” when i was in high school but never could formulate the words. part of me still dreams of it…but i can’t find my voice. in the mean time, i enjoy reading people that can write. just like a painting, song or dance - there are masters of the word craft. i sit at their feet and marvel. they have comic voices, passionate voices, heartfelt and true voices. the turn of a phrase - the alliteration - the analogy. i sit stunned and seduced by words. i think that’s part of why I also love music. combine the power of words with the beat of a drum and i fall.

9:: i started blogging as a way to work through some painful episodes. bad break-ups, past ghosts, stupid things. i wrote, posted and deleted many things. then one day, i explored and found other blogs. there were other people that wrote about feelings, failures, funny times, sad times…it was all out there. i responded on a couple of blogs and people started visiting my blogs. i felt welcomed. the circle grew and every day i get introduced to more and more people. this is the power of words. words give you the ability to connect millions of people.

10:: finally, words are comfort and warmth during a chilling of your soul. they give your heart wings when its too full to remain grounded. words give voice to your grief when your heart is broken and shattered on the floor. words are everything. they give distance when you’re shy and need your space. they open the door to new friends. they seduce. they make love to your eyes, ears and heart. they educate you. they empower you. they are.

and the world spins madly on

it's raining here today so i wandered to the mall - which was deserted and quiet.



no children were riding the carousel. no shoppers shopping. no cinnabons being eaten. only aimless people like me and a few working moms running errands and a couple of tourists unable to tour (missing instruments perhaps?). there was a hush - except in hot topix. of course it was loud in there as the emo salesclerks ignored me.



so i came home instead and had a sandwich and some fruit. like a child, including the cut halves - but i ate my crusts so i could whistle. 'cause i always heard if you eat your crust they help your whistle and mine's been sorta weak lately. not so much the dogs laugh and point...but, they look and me and think 'seriously?'



and it was good....really good. especially the strawberries. i saved one for you.

to market, to market (no pigs were harmed in this post)

handsome, yes? yes....it's rare they pose and even rarer you get them both to smile. so, of course this is going to be printed for the mantle.

last night i had a pity party of one. then i picked myself up, rolled my hair and met my sister and the nephews at the opening fresh market at hampstead. hampstead is this gorgeous development where my sister is the property manager - it is a planned area with shops, houses, lofts, and yummy restaurants. the market has a good beginning with lots of fresh produce (you know how much i love fresh produce) and last night i snagged a lovely pint of homemade chicken salad. oh how i love well made chicken salad. it was a fun place with lots of cute dogs, peaches, great characters and sweet children. i love to see their little sweaty and red faces when they climb out of the bouncy jumping thing. too bad the nephews are too old now. (pout)



now, before any smart comments about the boys hair - i have this theory, plus i grew up in the 70s. as long as its clean and fresh, i don't really care how long it is. i also believe the more people fuss and razz them about their hair, the more the boys will want to exert control over the one thing they can control in their lives. the oldest talked about how people stare at it ... i told him to 'own' it. if it is his fashion statement, to embrace the stares. i think it may have taken too well as i noticed a little strut developing last night.







after, we had dinner in this cute new place that is termed 'country cooking' where i finally had chicken and waffles. now, many people think this sounds weird but let me tell you...it was so yummy. something about the salty and sweet together was heaven!! as we were leaving, the sun was setting a glorious peach that deepened to red.



life is not wonderful but, it is filled with wonderful parts ... like my nephews' smiles, a good dinnner, the company of love, a sunset painted with beautiful and glorious color, a home to return to and the safety of my bed. it isn't as much as some but it is plenty more than a majority of this world has. so i'm grateful and content with those facts. i know where my next meal comes from. i am warm, clothed and clean. i have friends and family who care. i have eyes to see and ears to listen.

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my fab new blog banner was made by my friend, lecia. thanks girl - i love it!

that little bird is trying to fly the coop

an old shot from the secret vault and straight out of the camera as i'm at my sister's house with no editing programs. it helps to remind me at times what photography can be about. so many talk about national geographic and the what not, but face it - even they tweak their shots. so, let's not get all prissy - right, right? *smile* but it helps me remember the basic rules of camera work and composition to force myself at times to make that decision - back to basics.

i don't like to mention celeb-wannabes on the blog because i have decided not to give any more 'air time' to people who are talentless but wow, there was a show on nbc last night that showed how big some people are in their own mind and how spoiled we as consumers have made these people. if everyone would collectively turn off these spoiled princes and princesses and stopped supporting them, they would go away (i think).

i'm still stuck in this cycle of waking up at 5:30 a.m. and being unable to turn off my brain. there is a lot of stuff to think about (be scared about) and i think that is why when people whine who have so much to live for - it makes me tired. so very tired. and it's a sobering reality when i used to complain about my job or the whatnot. i count my blessings every day. some days i do that just to remain sane.

so...anyway - here i sit - uninspired, tired and half-way peeved at everything. as so many people have asked this week, how do you break through it? how do you push through to the other side of the journey? or, how do you tie the knot at the end of the rope while the threads are unravelling and the sweat is making it slippery? i've been journaling. taking shots even though they are mostly tired and boring (that's not a hint my sweeties, really). talking to friends. praying. meditating. hoping. building docks.

how do you keep hope alive?

for those BW lovers

Have you seen Mark's blog?? He is a fantastic photographer that works in BW and his processing is flawless. You must check him out.

Plus, he has very cool monthly drawings - I won for May. I'm so excited.

More later. I can't believe I'm up this late.

I pulled the shot of the squash - I keep staring at its unfocused and blurry messiness and couldn't deal with it in my OCD lite mood this morning. But, you early birds are way too kind. I'm going back to bed since I was up until 2:00 a.m. and a better blog will be posted later in the day. xo