comfort (30/30)

as i sit in my office on the last day of this month of gratitude the i-pod is playing the dixie chick's cover of "landslide" and the wind is blowing blustery last gasps of fall weather.  the colored leaves have about disappeared and we're left with the stragglers that are quickly fading away into browns and grays.  where our northern friends have beautiful fluffy blankets of white - we here are faced with the browns, taupes and grays of winter.  christmas is in 25 days and the new year is in 31.  overwhelming in many ways.

of all the seasons, winter is not my favorite...it's cold and damp and though i love that the coldness allows the flowers to bloom in the spring and takes care of a rather large bug population, it leaves me feeling a bit isolated and alone.  but maybe that is its purpose - to allow us to feel those feelings so when we are with friends and family that we appreciate their company?  i tend to think in looking at both sides of the coin, the half full, yet half empty glass.  i'm not so much oppotomistic as i'm practical and firmly convinced that worry will not change anything. 

i wanted a big bang to finish up this month...but it seems that i'm going with a whimper - - - sorta.  so as the fall slips into winter and november slips into december, i will remember too that all downs are accompanied by ups.  today i'm grateful for warm beds, good coffee and things that comfort. 

today's gratitude - on this day, i'm grateful for blankets, wooly socks, coffee and tea, comfort, beds with fluffy comforters and soft pillows.  i'm grateful big picture windows that allow me to see the beauty that surrounds me, even when it's gray and brown.  and i'm grateful that i know cold winds will bring bright sunshine and warm weather in the spring.

today on my i-pod - landslide (dixie chicks cover), thank you (dido), i feel the earth move (carole king), have i told you lately (van morrision), champagne supernova (oasis), i wonder (chris isaak)

laughter (29/30)

there is no better sound in the world than the sound of children laughing.  none.  i swear.  you can quote me... oh wait, many people have said that.

but...when you hear children laughing - how can things be wrong?  well, unless they're laughing at you...am i right?

last night i took the oldest niece to see "tangled" and we had a good time.  the movie was a treat - well written and the artwork is always amazing with disney.  so detailed.  though some of the subject matter was a bit over the head of a five year old (about to be six - eek!) i think it was great that big lessons such as sacrifice and honor were being taught through this medium.  and it also teaches well that "bad people" are not always in ugly packages.  so, thumbs up from me and GA. 

today's gratitude - i'm grateful that i can laugh - not only at something funny, but at myself when i mess up.  i'm grateful for having friends and family that make me laugh and who light up the room with their smiles. 

being authentic (28/30)

as i struggle through the last of the gratitude month, i have thought a lot about topics to post after thanksgiving.  as with any project, the beginning is full of promise, the middle is dedication and dutiful, and the ending is usually rather sad and sometimes a let down.  i tend not to pretty things up and believe in an authentic voice.  when i'm up - you know it.  when i'm down - you probably know that too or sense that when i'm not around. 

and what i need to let you know that i appreciate you letting me be authentic.  that you read even when i'm struggling with anger, sadness, confusion...i appreciate that friendship and closeness that develops after what, three years for some of you guys...perhaps longer for a few.  another reason i've been pondering the "authentic" is going to see the leibovitz exhibit at the museum this weekend.

i've been a leibovitz fan for a while - even though some would argue that she just "clicks" the camera now instead of doing all the things that we as struggling photographers do (dress the set, pose, light, process, etc.)  i was completely engulfed by the exhibit, "women."  susan sontag authored the book that accompanied the exhibit, but the portraits truly stand alone.  powerful, evocative, heartbreaking, and united by being female in all the various forms.  powerful women, unknown women, athletes, workers, artists, mothers, daughters...the gamut.  a celebration of the female...and the real.  while some would argue that the famous were portrayed in a more flattering light i would argue that they were treated the same - it's just that the famous are probably more used to being photographed.  blthye danner is not afraid to show her crowfeet.  but, the thing that stuck me most is that i doubt photoshop was used.  there were women with bruises, freckles, wrinkles, chin hair, pretty, not so pretty, muscular, skinny, overweight, pot bellies, jiggly underarms, smooth skinned, oily skin, dry skin.  they were women.  and i didn't judge them on their beauty - what i was struck by was the statement each of them made in their photograph.

i wanted to pull up a chair and sit and stare at each of the portrait for hours.  i wanted to crawl inside leibovitz's brain and suck up all the thoughts and ideas she had as she approproached the subjects.  looking at the framing and the composition - i heard instructors in the back of my head and then watched as leibovitz broke those rules (don't put someone in the middle of the frame, don't have such a shallow dof that the ears are not in focus, smooth out the skin so the chin hairs don't show...) 

the artist allowed the subject to be authentic.  you allow me to be authentic.  you are artists - you see the beauty even when it may be in different packages...and for that i am grateful.

today's gratitude - i'm grateful for each of my friends that take the time out of their day to read this little bit of my life. that support and guide me through my tough times.  that laugh with me when i need it and also hold my hand when i need it.  i could never say thank you enough.

today on my ipod - nothing really because i've been running to meetings all day....but, if i could - i would be listening to scratchy french records (circa 1940s) .... and would maybe be sipping on some tea because it's drizzling rain outside and looks very cold and dreary (even though it's only in the 50s.)

the art of longing (27/30)

there is an art to longing ... my friend mellie and i have discussed this.  longing is something different than the regular dreaming.  it takes on a life of its own and can move towards an ache - either in the heart or the stomach when we long for too long.  longing is the shy-er cousin of dreaming.  where dreaming are those things we hope for and work to make true... longing are those dreams that we dare not make come true.  they are the secret wishes of something that can swept us away from the life we are leading. 

i long for things that i can't whisper to myself (except in the dark of my room, late...late...late at night).  the dreams of say - taking off for a trip around the world with just my camera, a few books and whatever else an intrepid modern day margaret bourke white might carry in her backpack.  longings are the things that i feel that i've grown too responsible for...to old to do ... or too poor.  and (pish...pish) i know if that was truly a dream i would fight to make it happen.  so is longing a fear....or a crutch?

i say no... i say that longing in this way is a way to allow ourselves to take magical adventures.  a way to take the dreams we have for a test drive before planning the plans of action.  when dreams manifest, you can bet longing had a hand in that manifestation. longing is the beginning of the promise that dreams urge you to keep.  promises that you are scared to hope for....promises that secretly nudge at you until hope finally wins. do you long?  do you laugh them away?  does longing make you feel as though you settled?  longing makes me feel alive and as long as i yearn, i know that i will continue to dream.  and as long as i dream...i'm alive.

today's gratitude - i am thankful for the ability to long - to yearn - to dream magical dreams.  and as i long, i take the time make plans for dreams to become actions.  longing allows my practical side to take flight and roam free.  it is a beautiful time.

today on my i-pod - fly me courageous (drivin' n cryin'), desire (u2), here comes the sun (the beatles), building a mystery (sarah mclachlan), i wonder (chris isaak), beautiful (india arie)

the aftermath (26/30)

today was about the clearing away of thanksgiving and paving the way for the next holiday - christmas around the corner. and as i move from the last of my gratitude blogs - i want to make sure that this exercise is making the course corrections that i intend it to make.  to examine things - both big and small and to be thankful.  for all of it - the good and bad/happy and sad/ups and downs... because it all part of being human.  and yes, this always makes me think of it.  so as i move forward into the new month next week - i think of the aftermath of this month.  i like it.  just as i like the clearing away after good times together.  i'm old enough and set in my ways that i adore everyone together and i adore the quiet after.  *smile*

i use the day to recuperate and relax - the football game is on this afternoon.  you know that one where the elephant will probably eating a lot of crow because tiger meat will not be available (alabama vs. auburn for those not familiar with the mascots).  i won't watch the game - i will know the results by the moans and groans of my brother watching on the flat screen.  this has not been alabama's year.

today's gratitude - having a clean house today to enjoy and relax in this afternoon.  the candles burning bright against the gray, sullen day.  the memories of the holiday and the planning for the christmas season.  now that the turkey has had his due, it's time for the christmas season.  now i gather my thoughts about a tree, presents and events at work.  it is a good time for the aftermath.

today on my i-pod (extended holiday version) - girl you'll be a woman soon (urge overkill cover), caramel (suzanne vega), son of a preacher man (dusty springfield), angel mine (cowboy junkies), hello it's me (todd rundgren), it's probably me (sting), rebecca (pat mcgee band), easy tonight (five for fighting), the weight (the band), i say a little prayer for you (aretha franklin), he went to paris (jimmy buffet), lover's cross (jim croce), broken (peter searcy), hallelujah (jeff buckley)

abundance (25/30)

i have a life of abundance - no, i'm not a real housewife or anything but i'm so blessed with family and friends that i really couldn't ask for more.  okay - i confess, i could as for more, but it's a short list.  like a true love.  or maybe i could add a couple more true loves for my sister and one of my brothers (the other is quite happy with his true love.)

but all things considered...that is not such a bad thing really.  and, when it gets down to it - we should all have at least one true love, the love of self.  so anyway - that list not being fulfilled at the moment - i'm pretty damn happy with my life as it is currently.

so, thanksgiving - and yes, i am so very thankful.  for all there is in my life - for the air i breathe, the job, the family, friends, a creative outlet, relatively good health, and the list goes on....

and tonight as we were eating the dinner we prepared together - there were more things that washed over me - the laughter of nieces, the deep voices of my nephews as they grow up, the closeness of my family, friends that are like family, good food, equally good company.  that's a lot of gratitude from this girl.

rain (24/30)

rain makes the flowers grow which in turn gives us beauty to sustain us through the dark times....like fall.  though this shot was taken on a beautiful sunny day, on dreary days like today - i remind myself that rain falls for a reason...to nourish, to wash away...to allow introspection or maybe just the sleepy morning.

today was spent preparing for tomorrow.  items were picked up, cleaning was done and the cooking has begun.  rain didn't stop us but allowed me the time to sit and make silly place cards for the table.  tomorrow is the time to gather.

as i prepare, i think about family and friends...and of course friends that seem like family.  they are like the rain - they nourish, heal...refresh - all wonderful things.  and when you need it - they allow introspection.

today's gratitude - i'm thankful for the cooler weather and rain...they make it seem like the holidays instead of the almost summer like weather we've been having with temperatures in the 80's.  i'm grateful for the rain that washes away the dust and dirt, leaving us with drenched reds and golds.  i count my blessings.

and to all of you...i hope you have the most beautiful of holidays - filled with joyous things that bring you peace, love and joy

anticipation (23/30)

sometimes the anticipation is better than the actual gift.  sometimes the gift is much better than you expected to receive.  sometimes it seems as though it will never arrive.  sometimes it arrives way too fast.

today gratitude -  as i prepare for the holiday, i am grateful to have the joyful anticipation of getting together with family and friends that are like family. 

impossible things (22/30)

i watched alice in wonderland this weekend and agree, tim burton was genius in his treatment of this movie.  this old shot of mine reminds me of alice and how she plunges into the unknown - sometimes purposefully and then sometimes because she has no other choice.  isn't that a great story for how we live our lives too?  there is always so much that is unknown in our lives and for all the planning we like to do, the education we seek and, even for all my lists - there is never much suriety in our lives.  probably why we seek so much of it instead of fully embracing the unknown.  right?  or that is my thought about.  one of the things that i love in the movie....(close your eyes if you don't like spoilers ...)

i'll wait for you....come back tomorrow if you don't want to know...really - it's cool with me.

okay - don't say i didn't warn you though.  if you read on, then i'm thinking you're okay with knowing part of the movie (if you haven't seen it yet).... *taps foots while you debate if you're sure*

*whew*  anyway - my favorite part is at the end when she kills the jabberwock and how she preps herself for that victory (don't you just love the word, victory?).  she convinces herself of impossible things every day - that she can turn an impossible situation into a victory.

today's gratitude - i'm thankful for my skills that i put to use in seemingly impossible tasks to pave a road for the victories in my life.  i'm also grateful for the impossible tasks to prove that i can climb mountains and overcome "big deals" and have the self confidence to do these things.  and when it seems dark and i know that i "can't" that maybe i can channel alice and believe six impossible things today. 

today on my i-pod - pink moon (nick drake), harvest moon (neil young), your body is a wonderland (john mayer), the remedy (jason mraz)

roofs (21/30)

this morning i lay in the bed, trying to convince myself to get up and get to the grocery before the crowd got there.  as i laid there i heard the tiny acorns hitting the roof with a steady pattern interplayed from time to time with branches that the winds blows loose from the many trees we have surrounding us.  chinaberry trees whose delicate leaves rain down each time the wind rustles.  oak trees that give up their russet leaves a bit stringently at first and then as the days grow short, dump a constant ground cover to rake.  and finally the fiery leaves of the dogwood and crape myrtle trees, who are as spectacular in the fall as they are in the spring and summer.  and i think how lucky i am that i have a roof over my head that i do not have to worry about.

today's gratitude - i am thankful for that roof that keeps me protected and safe.  whens the winds blow, the rain comes and the cold weather persists - that roof is there for me.  i don't have to worry where i will be to be protected - it's just there.  there are so many people in this world that do not have protection or safety and there for the grace of god, could be me.  there is much to be grateful over this year and this is just one of the things.

today on my i-pod - the galway girl (sharon shannon), these are the days (van morrison), dance with me (orleans), take it to the limit (the eagles), iris (the goo-goo dolls), halo (beyonce)

convenience (20/30)

we live in a fast paced world these days - ones of our own making.  we fill our days with "musts" and "haftas" and the like - feeling guilty when we are not able to live up to expectations.  we treat our lives too often as disposable and if we don't like something then we ditch it and try something else - marriages, jobs and myriad of other things.  who cares - there is always something to replace that right?  we live a life of convenience - where too often the trouble it takes to check in with someone is not worth the effort.  *sigh*  and often, i'm grateful for that convenience - where i can hop in the car and buy something quickly, never thinking of the little time it would take giving from the heart instead of the pocketbook (does anyone say pocketbook anymore?)

today's gratitude - though i'm grateful for the convenience i have to live my life to my expectations, i'm also grateful that i recognize this and am trying to live "slower" with more deliberance and gratitude about what is not convenient.  like the time it takes to cook a meal instead of buying a meal, the time it takes to make cookies for the cookie swap, the sitting down to write a handwritten letter to a soldier.  this year, as i'm trying to put more "service" into my life - let me also be grateful for the ease i have in my life.  there are many that are not as lucky as i am and wish they could overcome their hardships to have a better life.  let me be truly grateful for that and the roles of others that have contributed to that for me. 

today on my i-pod -  hanging by a moment (lifehouse), breakin' me (jonny lang), runaway train (soul asylum), save me (aimee mann), feeling good (nina simone), let's stay together (al green)

lists (19/30)

it's no secret...i'm a listmaker.  in fact i have a favorite thing to make lists on...3x5 cards.  they are the perfect size to fit in my back pocket.  i always have a packet in my deck along with a fine point sharpie - clear and concise. 

this weekend i will making lists for the holiday - a grocery list, a menu, a list of who is doing what and when.  pick up the turkey and ham, pick up the cakes, get a card table....all the things that make the holiday fun instead of work.  i like my lists.

today's gratitude - as i prepare for the holidays, i'm grateful for the time to plan and enjoy.  the joy that we have in doing for others and the ability to relax enough not to make it work.  and i'm grateful for my lists.

books (18/30)

today's gratitude - there are many worlds in books - many places to visit and tarry a while...many things to learn...many things to relate to as we go through our lives.  i'm forever grateful to parents that encouraged me to read, to teachers that give me the ability to take these journeys and to authors that carry me along as i travel down their roads.

i'm grateful for libraries that have continued to give the gift of reading to all that take that opportunity.  some of my fondest memories of childhood were spent at the local library as i explored the world of nancy drew, the hardy boys and was inspired by biographies of great leaders.

today on my i-pod - the glee albums on repeat.

frivalous things (17/30)

as the month of gratitude reaches the mid-point i often find myself reaching for things to express gratitude about.  not because i don't have much to be grateful about but instead, you start second guessing yourself or thinking that it sounds silly to be grateful for things like ... coffee, the perfect lip gloss or comfortable shoes.  but face it - after we name the big things like love, family, health, happiness and the big ticket items, what are we left with but things that bring us comfort and some modicum of joy in our lives.  or is that just me (please don't say it is)

today's gratitude - just like tiny things last week. this week i am grateful for things that bring a sense of comfort to my life - a pillow top mattress and my dwell studio comforter (from target), good coffee (yum - dunkin donuts), and comfortable shoes (sketchers).  because if i don't have enough sleep, caffeine and happy feet i'm rather a grumpy grump.  and i also realize that i'm rather blessed to have these things.  now, about that lip gloss - it's not a necessity, but it just makes me feel good - my latest crush is the 'buxom' lip gloss from bare essentials.  i don't think that it really makes my lips fuller - but i love that minty cool feeling it gives my lips.  it also seems to fulfill my ridic habit of carrying around two tubes of lipstick and however many lipglosses - maybe i'm preparing for an upcoming kissing surplus?  (don't i wish! ha!)

today on my i-pod - songbird (eva cassidy), rihannon (fleetwood mac), landslide (the dixie chicks), silver springs (fleetwood mac), gold dust woman (covered by sister hazel)

taking charge (16/30)

matisse said that "creativity takes courage".  now i don't know if that is completely true or not, but i think creativity takes commitment and a good amount of time and energy (C=t+e2 perhaps?)  without those elements my creativity seems to flounder.  lately i haven't had much time or energy and as a result, my creativity muse seems to have taken a hike.  i know that i never felt like a better photographer than when i was without a job...it seems that different talents ebb and flow as they are needed...or is that channeled. 

this year my sister and i have declared that we are taking back thanksgiving.  in the past three years we've been going to the country club as it was easier than coping with missing family members, but it's time now to rebuild those memories for the generations to follow.  i find myself excited about going shopping this weekend and thinking of making dressing while i watch the parade thursday morning.  it brings happy smiles to my day.

today's gratitude - having the memories to share with my nieces and nephews and making the new memories for them to carry forward.  though i may not be with them forever, they will carry my memory forward, just as they do with their grandparents and loved ones. 

today on my i-pod - lay lady lay (bob dylan), i'm like a bird (nellie furtado), feels like home (chantal k....i never can spell her name right), days like this (van morrison)

bounty (15/30)

as fresh dwindles down to the root vegetables and squash, i feel an ache knowing it will be next summer before i get to dive into the joy that is fresh vegetables and fruit.  i'm lucky to live in a largely agricultural state where many veggies are plentiful and oh so wonderful.  we are also lucky to have a long growing season.

today's gratitude - fresh vegetables and the abundanace that comes to my table from right were i live.  as i prepare for the holiday next week, i'm grateful to feed my family as we come together to celebrate.  and this gives me something to look forward to in the coming months - the anticipation of next summer's treasures of butterbeans, peas and okra.

today on my i-pod - interstate love song (stone temple pilots), 1979 (smashing pumpkins), hard to handle (black crows), all for you (sister hazel), push (matchbox twenty), time (hootie & the blowfish), clumsy (our lady peace), knocking on heaven's door (bob dylan)

color (14/30)

today's gratitude:  nature's paintbrush and fall color.  today i took a drive along highway 9 and highway 49 to mount cheaha, alabama's highest point.  though overcast and gray at the peak, i would enthralled with the golds and reds along the way.

sleep (13/30)

last night sleep eluded me...it was the bed, it was staying up late, it was being excited...it was so many things.  my sister and i took a little weekend getaway to birmingham to see a friend play (see 12/30) and then wanted to get a bit of shopping in.  i took my camera with full intentions to get in some local seasonal color, but time just slipped away because i slept in (after falling asleep about 3:00 a.m.)

so...despite all good intentions, you get the spring shot of this beautiful garden instead of the fall shot.  see what a little excitement can do for you?  *smile*


toaay's gratitude:  i am grateful for sleep, especially when it eludes me.  i love the comfort of waking up refreshed and happy on weekends.  and though i started off on the wrong foot, i'm also grateful for a great weekend with wonderful company....i learned the ins and outs of being a wing-girl for a male friend and laughed at his dilemmas as four women vied for his attention.  the mysteries of dating, right?  *smile*

today on my i-pod:  a running soundtrack of 80's music as we shopped - laughing with how ridiculous we sounded as we sang along to the songs....and, also our silly, silly jokes about "no gas for you"

music (12/30)

a few years ago i went to a concert and met a musician's wife.  we became fast friends and as a result of that friendship, i helped with fan relations and sold merchandise for him - we also became friends.  over the years we've remained friends and i'm still a great fan of his music...it has been a while since i've seen him perform and if you can tell my playlist, i think he's insanely talented.  his name is angie aparo.

working with angie's team was great fun and through him, another friend has gone on and become deeply involved in the music industry.  the world of music is a weird little world when you pull back the curtain.  they work so hard and it's really almost serendipitous when they make their way.  it also chews people up and spits them out due to the quick turns and twists the public take.  we tease amongst ourselves that it pulls the curtain back from the wizard when you're a fan.  you learn that heroes are human.  that being said, if you're ever able to hear angie, i encourage you to do it - it's crazy how amazing his voice is.

but...he's not my gratitude today...music is. today's gratitude: music is one of those things that gets me through the days and it suits my every mood.  it inspires me, lifts me up...it soothes me, comforts me and keeps me great company. music of every kind...and yes, i have my favorites and my not so favorites.  lately, i've learned to eat my words about a lot of stuff that i never thought i would like....and i try to listen with open ears.  i always give you my list....what's yours' this week?

today on my i-pod:  cry, hush, gravity, hard woman to love, child you're the revolution, the american, free man, seed, caroline, american teenage tale, wonderland (originals by angie) and then some of my favorite covers that he performs -- rocketman/space oddity, fight for your right, midnight rider.

service (11/30)

in honor of all that have offered or given their lives for my freedom

thank you.  words cannot express my gratitude.

tiny things (10/30)

this photo has nothing to do with my gratitude for the day... i just think it's adorable.  that's the aunt's privilege, right?  *smile* but she does fit into my list of tiny things to be grateful for ....

today's gratitude - there are so many tiny things to be grateful about, i will do a catch all of the currents that i'm grateful for ... a good week, gorgeous weather, good health, happy siblings, and the discovery of dunkin donuts coffee.  the colors of fall apples and pumpkins and the wispy marestail clouds that freckled my bright blue sky - they turned into gorgeous reds as the sun sank on a good day.  homemade hamburgers with cheese and pickles served with ice cold soda and chips.  and a day tomorrow to enjoy being home.


today on my ipod - rotten (angie aparo), do you sleep (lisa loeb), everything you want (vertical horizon), volcano (damien rice), fast as you can (fiona apple), anyone else but you (moldy peaches), he thinks he'll keep her (mary chapin carpenter), window (guster)

quiet (09/30)

this week has been so different than the last two weeks.  weird how that can happen - you fight your way through the storm and then suddenly it's peaceful again.


today's gratitude - i'm grateful for the quiet time with my thoughts.  i shift through things to be done and slowly my desk takes shape again.  i have time to focus and clear away debris and other tasks that i haven't had time to take care of...and, there suddenly i find a bit of happiness and peace. 

my friends, i've been woefully behind on blog reading and checking out your photography on flickr.  my apologies and i'm planning to catch up this week.  i haven't ditched you...i've been held away by other duties.  i will catch up with you soon.
xoxox

time (08/30)

i've finally noticed that the clock on the capital is much like the pivotal clock tower in "back to the future" - stuck at one time that is correct only twice a day.  which leads to me the beautiful day that awaited me after getting a full night sleep and waking up with the sunrise.  a sunrise that is at the correct time for my body clock.  typically by this time of year i'm really protesting getting up as it's still dark outside.

let's face it world...i'm an owl and not a lark.  i'm the first to admit it.

so when the time changes in the fall, i am - for a couple of weeks - happy to get out of bed and feel refreshed.  there is something for that piece of happiness.  it makes the days so much better.

today's gratitude - i'm thankful for that wonderful feeling of getting enough sleep and having the right attitude for getting back to work.  i'm grateful for the change in time that gives me a great way to wake up in the morning - that beautiful rose colored light.  it's small, but so very important.

today on my ipod - i'm savoring whole cd's today - so far:  tapestry by carole king, cracked rear view by hootie & the blowfish, and misguided roses by edwin mccain. 

time together/time alone (07/30)

last night my brother was "patched in" to his motorcycle club.  apparently this is a very big deal and involved lots of friends, family, drinking, teasing and some seriousness.  my sister and i attended and got to see a side of my brother we rarely see, him entirely in his own element - having a great time with his buddies.  you see, he frets from time to time, thinking that his buddies may be a bit "crude" for his sisters (isn't he just the best brother?)...sometimes i think he doesn't know our "other" sides either...you know, the side where we are used to handling ourselves...and unwanted advances (when unwanted).  it all goes back to the roles that we all have in each other's lives, doesn't it?

anyway - it was a lot of fun and i got to see a couple of people that i haven't seen since high school.  i also learned a rather raunchy use for choroseptic (don't ask!)  it always pays to learn!  *laugh*

today's gratitude - i'm grateful for time with family and friends as i always feel welcome and loved.  and i'm also grateful for time alone when i need to decompress and reflect on the week's happening.  the weekend is always such a great time for both of these.

today on my ipod - seven bridges road (the eagles), sweet home alabama (lynard skynard), footloose (kenny loggins), the boys are back in town (thin lizzie), livin' on a prayer (bon jovi), jump (van halen)

saturdays (06/30)

how wonderful is a weekend where you have no responsibilities.  how wonderful is it to get up and get in your sweatpants and putter around the house - drinking coffee, making lunch and watching romantic movies ... okay that last thing may not be everyone's cup of tea. 

today's gratitude - i'm grateful that i am fortunate enough to have the days where i can relax and take a breath.  to enjoy the down time and unwind after a difficult week.  it's cool outside and i'm snuggled in watching movies, drinking now hot tea from my new cup (thanks amy jo).  and on a whimsy note - i'm also grateful for marshmallow treats.  *smile*

today on my ipod - northern sky (nick drake) on repeat really....i adore that song.

comfort (05/30)

sometimes you ride out the waves or the tough days.  though the day yesterday didn't get much better in frustrations, it turned out well in that we were able to give a wonderful goodbye to a fantastic friend.  i'm proud to call carol a friend, we've been friends over 20 years and yesterday, as i stood listening to the governor tell her how wonderful she is, tears welled up.  alabama is losing her to louisiana - ahhh, yes politics.  they suck sometimes.  but, it gives me a great friend to visit in a new city.

today's gratitude - i'm grateful when friends get the recognition they deserve.  i'm happy to be in the glow of their achievements.  and though everyone may not agree with them, i'm grateful that we can come together to give her that recognition for what she did for the underserved in alabama.

anger (04/30)

such a silly thing anger but this morning, on a important day, i got a call at 7:55 saying my assistant would be late.  and as i steamed and fumed my way from the parking deck, all the while the steam iron was leaking down my pants and my arms were laden with tablecloths for today's function, i also plotted and planned my "talk" that i was going to have with her.  as i got to my office, i realized (as the phone was ringing off the hook) that i have not replaced my key since the move and i was locked out of the suite.  (yes, she had reminded me numerous times that i needed to go switch my key but i "never had time.") 

i found a side door left unlocked and raced to the phone just as it hung up in my face - it immediately rang again and the caller hung up on me.  as i dashed to my office, after forwarding the phone to mine, it rang a third time where the caller asked for my assistant and i said angerily, that she was not in and he asked "did she ask you to tell me that" 

i stomped off to my office, wet and angry. 

today's gratitude:  as i cool off, and think about how this situation could be different.  i could have answered my phone this morning or checked my messages - she left me one earlier stating that she would be in later.  i could have made time to pick up a key and i would not have been locked out of my office or had to find a way to "break in".  and if i had taken more responsibility about getting up earlier instead always allowing myself to be in at the last minute, then i would not be so anger.  and i laugh because a good friend always tells me, when you point the finger at someone else, there are three fingers pointing back at you.  so i'm grateful for good friends that put me in my place.  i'm grateful for the ability to laugh at myself.  and i'm grateful for the assistant too...even on days i get flustered and a bit angry.  i know we will work this out.

today on my i-pod:  you wanted more (tonic), free ride (edger winter), sunshine (jonathan edwards), roll on (little willies), get over it (the eagles), lithum (nirvana)

peace (03/30)

there is a sense of peace this week - the settling in of what has to be done and the elections are over.  now some of the fear settles into a plan of action as we move forward.  uncertainty and indecision often leads to a sort of fear for me.  no one likes being at the cliff with rocks crumbling at your feet without some sort of plan on how to get out of that situation.  do you leap?  do you tie a rope on and try to get down?  what is the plan?  maybe you build a parachute with the clothes on your back. 

my plan?  linking hands with others on the ledge and finding a way to getting to the goal.

today's gratitude - i'm grateful for finish lines so i can make new beginnings.  as susan st. james said, every finish line is the start of a whole new race.  today as i stretch and ready myself for the new race, i'm grateful for having a finish line to help plan the next steps - a way to help me along the right track. 

today on my ipod - angel flying too close to the ground (willie nelson), lovely day (bill withers), fire and rain (james taylor), long time gone (gin blossoms), peace train (cat stevens), free man (angie aparo), the kitchen song (edwin mccain)

resources (02/30)

daily gratitude - i'm grateful for friends - old and new.  and i know that is cliche...but i don't care.  i've been working so crazily that my old friends may feel somewhat neglected, but they are always a warm candle beside me - steady and true and though they may flicker from time to time, they are there.  and new friends that i've met over the year - i treasure them too. 

so today - make a new friend, visit a new blog, explore, leap - grow.

today on my ipod - hush (angie aparo), lay lady lay (bob dylan), give a little bit (covered by the goo goo dolls), world spins madly on (the weepies), tupelo honey (van morrison), moonlight mile (the rolling stones), angel eyes (jeff healey), close to you (far too jones)

gratitude, the weekend and music (01/30)

i feel much like this horse - covered up in weeds and barely keeping my head above water.  to say that last week was difficult is an understatement is much like saying the queen is british.  but, this is a new week and we begin a new phase at work much like the new week and the new month.  so....

first my daily gratitude - i am grateful that i have a job that is interesting and keeps me on my toes.  it keeps my brain sharp and helps me think "outside the box" when it comes to solving problems.  that makes the day pass so much faster.

since i last spoke to you....there have been many changes at work in that we have to go back to the beginning and plot a slightly different path.  it's not as bad as we thought after taking the weekend to think - but, a different way to get to the same goal.  my cutey pie niece turns three tomorrow and we had the annual halloween/birthday celebration last night.  so adorable.  i found that amazon has the penguin classic books on sale - so if you're looking to expand a collection, it's a great opportunity. 

i'm having big sleep disruptions - major - so last night was filled with dreams about a city that traffic drives overhead and then all people were located underneath in varying levels.  in some ways, it was how i envision hell - but without the heat...just lots of stores on many levels.  not sure what all of that means so i'll see if i revisit that tonight.  in the meantime i read "whistlin' dixie in a nor-easterner" (mind candy) and have begun to re-read emma. 

for those of you that watched project runway - how shocked were you???  i believe mondo was robbed...robbed i tell you.

today on my i-pod - two (ryan adams), diamonds and rust (joan baez), breakin' me (jonny lang), tempted (squeeze), feels like rain (john hiatt), fast car (tracy chapman), stuck in a moment (u2), i'm on fire (bruce springsteen)