February 10, 2009

my grandmother always threatened to make me a foam rubber butt

The church clock chimes the noon hour and I am thinking of the things that I will miss living downtown. The sounds of traffic, fire sirens, train whistles and the clock chiming. The sounds of the children playing on the playground at the elementary school a block behind my apartment. Kickball sounds exactly as it did years ago. The dirt path, the low thud as your foot kicks the red ball, and the bounces as the fielders scrabble to get it. And the laughter mixed with the shouts of "you're out." I'll miss the local stores and the little pockets of cities that the sprawl have overtaken and melded into this mess of a city. The arguments over sewer debt and dirty air I will not miss.

I will miss smiling at the Vulcan's butt, the expression of "going over the mountain", warm bread from Continential, and the artistic community around the university. The mix of people from all walks of life - where the poor walk with the affluent and both love the neighborhood just as much. The city has made a love song in my veins and though I babble about traffic, dirt and poverty - I love the fact that I came here on my own.

Birmingham was a place I landed after a crumbled marriage and a decision to be serious about finishing my degree. I helped open a consulting office with my mentor and loved the success we found. Birmingham is where I realized my love of health care. It's where I grew into the adult I finally became and where I found the ability to be on my own. It's the place where I also rediscovered a passion that was never nurtured before. I will miss this place.

But, I know that all of that is within me still. That when I leave this city - it will not leave me. Friends tease me that I'm not moving to Siberia and I could quit acting like Camille on her deathbed. *cough cough* It's only 90 miles...but I don't know what those 90 miles meant to me.

All of the things I've learned, all that I am, all that will be - never let me forget this place. Never let me forget that I stepped off the cliff and though I didn't always soar, I still flew. That going home is not a failure but just a change in location. That home may be a cliff instead of a landing and I still have wings.

rounded

21 comments:

  1. you have good memories and you are on your way to new and exciting things. i hope you love your new home!!!! and you must be relieved that the move is almost over and done with. YAY!!!

    and that is a pretty pic, for sure. :)

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  2. You're making me miss Birmingham. Are you in Southside? It sounds like it. Or I imagine it to be there.

    Good luck with the move. I understand the importance of place - you get attached and it becomes part of you. It's now my dilemma with Nashville - I love it and Birmingham, but it's hard to live both places.

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  3. I do live on Southside - in Glen Iris. Where did you live?

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  4. I had friends that lived in Glen Iris and another by Rojo and I would go stay with them, but I grew up in Helena, waaaay south of town. I went to UAB so I was around that area and going to the Nick all the time to see friend's bands. I love that area. It seems so perfect to me.

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  5. This gave me goosebumps. And tears in my eyes.

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  6. I settle in and always have. I once moved across town and cried for days. We had friends that lived next door and we did everything together. I still laugh at myself for being so upset. =]

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  7. It's good to know that you are cherishing the memories. I on the other hand cannot wait to leave where I matured.

    In Texas 90 miles is like an afternoon trip. You can do it!

    But you know what is also exciting? Now you have a whole NEW place to look for creativity through your lens. You have unfound treasures just waiting for you to share with us!

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  8. I enjoyed this glimpse into your past.
    Wishing you luck on the journey ahead. God speed.

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  9. Char
    you are so completely right when you say that "all of this is within you still"the window of your life looks clear and bright from here...move forward with excitement knowing that you are never alone

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  10. best wishes to you on your move... i pray for you green meadows and blue skies... loads of new photo opportunites and wonderful new things to see... :) and for delightful new friends in your life as you hold the old ones in your heart over the (relatively small) distance...

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  11. New horizonss, new opportunities. Change is always scary but you will rise to the challenge, I've no doubt. And we'll still be with you!

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  12. Oh, nice memories. I lived in Tuscaloosa three years while in grad school and we'd go eat and drink at this cool place in the hills right below Vulcan, somewhere; I think it really did exist.

    And we went to five corners all the time, too, to get out of frat-hell T-town.

    In truth, the interstate flows thru Birmingham. Whatever crumbled that led you there has re-assembled as quite another dream. Everything that dies, my favorite songwriter wrote, one day comes back.

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  13. Beautifully expressed. Hope your move goes well and that it inspires you as much as Birmingham did. I love the part where you said, "I stepped off the cliff and though I didn't always soar, I still flew." So beautiful.

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  14. the transitions into new rhythms, evolved from where we're been, and even as we go, always, we are returning. 'Sigh' I'll be doing this in a few months. In a big way.
    Thanks for writing about it and putting all of your beautifl thoughts out there for the rest of us to see.

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  15. "The city has made a love song in my veins" so poetic.

    It is always challenging to move from a place you call home back to a place that you used to call home. But it will be an adventure that I wish you all the best with.

    Am not sure, are you moving into another city, or to the country?

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  16. beautiful picture, I am speechless :-)

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  17. Such beautiful memories you'll take with you. : ) Thankfully, you'll be leaving the singing neighbor behind. Although, you may miss him too. Once you don't have to hear him anymore.

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  18. What a wonderful knack you have for painting such vivid imagery with your delicious words. I can sense your angst about making the change. Bittersweet?
    Take care.

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  19. I finally understand what it's like to live in a place that suits you and becomes a part of your self. I am sad for you to have to leave a place that's given so much richness to your life. 90 miles may not be far, but in the heart's measure, it can be.

    I hope you find another city that you can cuddle up into and make it your own soon.

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  20. I love your attitude! And picture of course. It's got to be hard for you, but also exciting.

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  21. You seem to have more self awareness than many people attain in a lifetime....the next part of your journey will be an adventure I'm sure!

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i feel as if each comment was between us as we sat and sipped something warm....i love to hear what you're thinking.