February 4, 2009
I woke up with an outrageous headache this morning - mostly my own fault after consuming bacon before bedtime combined with a distinct lack of water yesterday. Much like drinking, I guess I had a bacon hangover.
My joints creak more frequently and I've found I would rather enjoy a few drinks with good friends than any loud night club. I've developed a taste for singers that have populated the "folk" catalog on iTunes. The hands, definitely showing signs of wear and tear. My hair shows more gray at the temples than I'm comfortable with and roots are visible before the recommended six weeks is up.
Now I understand the things my mom and dad told me and think they're right. I'm officially teetering on the edge of middle age and the dreams of youth. There is a tightrope we walk when we don't want admit the body doesn't want to live up with the demands of our dreams. I always think of myself as 31 one - old enough to know better but young enough for ... adventure. Not that I can't be adventurous in my 40s, 50s or beyond. But with a sense of wisdom beaten into me the hard way over the decades. (until the mirror tells me differently - I'm considering breaking that damn thing)
I clearly remember hating to do my homework and the many schemes I would plot and plan to avoid doing it until the last possible minute. Now I see my ten-year-old nephew doing the same thing and think, "if he just put that much energy into getting it over with, it would be done." I suffer the pains of my fourteen-year-old nephew shyness and not thinking he's as handsome as he should be. I want to help him build that confidence that is so attractive. All the lessons we all learn the hardest way possible.
I can't solve the problems of their world and can only take solstice in the fact that one day in the distant future...they will think, "Aunt Lanie was right." We who love are there with the bandaids and the lollipops. Trying to wait at the sidelines until the moment is right - acting all casual so the kids can learn. But, it's so damn hard sometimes.
In the meantime...my oldish bones will have ice cream.
scribbled by Char